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76

Unwashed Village / URGENT! VOTE FOR ME AND I GET TO GO TO THE PLAYBOY MANSION WITH ADAM CAROLLA!!!

« on: October 16, 2007, 03:56:00 AM »

That's right, I am an avid listener of the Adam Carolla show and entered the "big head" contest on AdamCarolla.com. 

Basically, Adam Carolla attends this event at the Playboy Mansion every Halloween called "Blotto in the Grotto".  Since he has a big head, he's taking two guys who have bigger heads with him to appear in his photos to make his head look smaller.

I sent in a photo and I'm one of the nine selected applicants for the final vote.  Unfortunately, I'm getting creamed by two other guys who have the majority vote.  So if you all would be so kind as to go to Adamcarolla.com and cast your vote for me, "Jared Lovrak", so I can go party with one of my childhood heroes...and Danny Bonaduce, and a bunch of celebrities, at the House that Porn Built (Not exactly psyched about that last part, but I'm sure it's a nice mansion.)  I would much appreciate it.  If I get to bring guests, I might take one of you!

It's about time my cro-magnon head finally got me something in life!

http://adam.freefm.com/index.php?  (The voter checkpoint is on the right hand side towards the bottom, remember the name is "Jared Lovrak".  Thanks everybody!

77

Unwashed Village / Love stinks.

« on: September 12, 2007, 11:35:41 AM »

So, a little background...

Loveshack has known a girl since Kindergarten.

Loveshack begins to feel a little more than friendship for girl around end of high school.

Loveshack is madly in love with girl by end of freshman year of college.

Girl doesn't love Loveshack in that way.

Girl begins dating another guy she met at college while Loveshack stayed at home for another year.  Things were looking up for Loveshack until this point. 

Loveshack can't take hint and carries not-so-secret torch for the next seven years in the hopes that his life will play out like the magical fairy tale he hoped it would be.

Loveshack goes to college with girl the following year, but girl is now in dating other guy.  (Other guy, unfortunately, seems like a decent guy, but not as decent as Loveshack.)

Loveshack does some things that could be construed as "stalkerish".  (Not literally, but you know, flowers on her birthday and Valentine's day, that sort of thing.  Girl is single for the most part during all this barring a few on-again-off-agains.  Loveshack just didn't know any better because he has no experience in things like this.)
Loveshack and girl remain "friends" because Loveshack does an Academy Award-worthy performance where he denies having feelings for girl anymore after realizing that A.  Girl is not "the one" Loveshack built her up to be in his head.  (Loveshack still wants her.) and B. There comes a time when Loveshack realizes that he needs to cut his losses and move on because he lives in the real world, not in the movies he was taking his relationship advice from to compensate for lack of experience.  (Loveshack finds "moving on" is easier in theory than in practice)

Girl never really says that she and other guy are in an official relationship, making things very confusing for Loveshack.  Is new guy simply "in the way"?

Girl says she and other guy are in an official relationship.  Loveshack hates new guy.  How could new guy do this to Loveshack?  Loveshack didn't do anything to new guy!  New guy just decided to wreck Loveshack's life.  Bastard.

Loveshack decides to bow out because it's "the right thing to do".  Loveshack hopes girl and new guy's relationship falls apart in a spectacular fashion.  Partly out of spite towards girl for rejecting Loveshack; partly so Loveshack can be the hero and "rescue" the girl.

Fast forward to present:  Loveshack still vehemently denies attraction to girl, though friends all know the truth.  Girl posts bulletin on Facebook saying she hopes the "big news" goes over well.

Loveshack freaks out because there are really only two kinds of "big news" a girl can have that she'd be worried wouldn't go over well:  Marriage or Preggo.

There's a slim possibility it might be something other than that, but Loveshack knows better than that at this point.

Loveshack is sad.