Topics

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Unwashed Village / So I was thinking..

« on: December 23, 2010, 06:07:46 PM »

In all the years I've screwed around here for various reasons it finally occurred to me that "the Unwashed Villagers" would be a great name for a sketch comedy troop. We're not exactly "the kids in the hall" but there's a lot of creative stuff that's come up out of this place over the years. Hell, my "abstinence porn" idea would be a fifteen minute sketch, no problem. Merry Christmas and think on it, won't you?

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Unwashed Village / Latest invention!

« on: December 20, 2010, 04:20:40 PM »

After hard labor in my workhovel, I am proud to present the latest advance in highly ironic disruptive technology. As usual, I am a Genius *pause for effect*. Now, most cool people know when something is cool, but it often doesn't remain cool over time. In fact, coolness seems to exhibit a number of properties similar to radiation in that over time certain things stay cool while other's degrade and become not cool. The key breakthrough in my research on the subject has been in the startling realization that coolness is not in fact determined by a single atomic particle or wave, but is an event similar to radiation where a number of elementary particles and waves are emitted. I would therefore like to formally announce the discovery of the "Pretention" an elementary particle that conforms to wave particle duality. Current high energy research at my workhovel seems to indicate that the coolness "event" produces two "Hipion" particles to every "Pretention." And this key breakthrough has finally allowed for accurate measurement of how cool and ironic you jaded cool people really are. I call it the "Pretentiometer", a device for measuring the presence of the Pretention particles and their corresponding impossible to measure Hipions. The derived unit of measure would be Hipion/Pretention giving us a derived unit, I call the "Bono" for obvious reasons. I am available to take questions.     

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Unwashed Village / Doom, I need a confirmed audiophiles help!

« on: October 02, 2010, 12:19:03 AM »

Would you classify the Goo Goo dolls as emo alterna-rock or just alterna-rock? I was having one of my weird moody moments out at the middle school cause there's this awesome park bench where you can see the recently harvested corn fields and soy bean fields and I was just in a John Rzeznik sort of mood so the point came up. Comments?

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Unwashed Village / My response to the Health Care reform victory

« on: March 27, 2010, 12:22:48 AM »

I am very excited by the news that this much needed reform has been signed into law by the President. While the legislation is far from perfect, in this case I was pleased to see the President demonstrate the toughness to ram through valuable legislation. The Republican party has increasingly become an intransigent, news cycle addicted waste of time and I'm glad to see the President's coalition is still able to provide significant support to our President.

Further, in answer to the charge from the President's critics that he has yet to accomplish many of his policy goals, I would like to briefly review the administrations progress on the following smaller campaign promise that may have been overlooked in the excitement over the Health Care Victory.

1. No more movies starring Rob Schneider Check the President's website, I'm sure it's there. In 2010, we have yet to see a movie "starring" Mr. Schneider and though we are not yet through President Obama's first term in office, I feel very confident in saying that our long national nightmare is over. Naturally, an end to movies "starring" Adam Sandler remains out of reach, but perhaps some sort of compromise can be worked out involving our nuclear arms reduction talks with Russia?

For example, for every nuclear warhead destroyed by Mr. Putin's administration, the United States could agree to destroy a copy of Mr. Sandler's "Little Nicky" or "Eight Crazy Nights?" With appropriate environmental protections in place and supervision by the IAEA of course.

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Unwashed Village / Recruiting Genius's, who's in?

« on: June 29, 2009, 04:25:22 AM »

I, aka Sarge, aka the Outrider have found a lovely place of my own for all my mad experiments and wildest dreams. This lovely place is located in Geneseo, Illinois at 61254 and I strongly suggest you folks take a look at it. The schools are great. The land is cheap. All the people really are above average! And the potential for growth is staggering. The Quad cities are just forty five minutes away and I'm looking to increase the population of smart people so I can hire them for my eventual technology start-up. Crazy dream? Sure is. But the Unwashed village has a supply of high quality people like no other. Take a look at it on google and see if I'm wrong! Remember Genius = Improving Human Quality!

 :Mr-T:

I love it when a plan comes together!

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Unwashed Village / Pretty quiet around here..

« on: January 10, 2009, 09:09:01 PM »

Thought I'd stop by, check in. This place needs something.

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Unwashed Village / The thing that was bothering me about "I am Legend."

« on: February 03, 2008, 06:26:39 PM »

Is that it SUCKED! In a bad way! 

http://www.bigempire.com/filthy/

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Unwashed Village / My blog (self promotion be warned)

« on: December 22, 2007, 08:19:01 PM »

Just in case your interested, my blog can be found at http://lifeoftheoutrider.blogspot.com/.  As you can see, I've decided to stop telling stories about heroes and try to be one.  I might fail, and I might make the wrong choice, but I'd like to share with you great and wonderful folks here in the great and wonderful OZ.  Don't know how often the Outrider will come out and talk, but when he does, I like to think it will be good.  Peace and joy my friends.

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Unwashed Village / Hello there.

« on: December 21, 2007, 04:30:45 AM »

As is the Japanese custom, a life changing event requires a change in name. The man you knew as Sarge is gone. I call me the Outrider. And there is a storm coming. I ride before the storm.  I had one serious blast to my mind and I lost it. However, when you lose your mind, you come to your senses. And the intellectual man you knew learned what realization is.  I'm a bit sickly, its true.  But sickness isn't death.  I'm hoping to be good friends.  I'll leave you with an important thing I realized today, that I learned many years ago. There are no ordinary moments.  Be seeing you soon.

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Unwashed Village / Sarge's last story.

« on: December 21, 2007, 04:16:44 AM »

A preview of my last gift to my ex.

"Once upon a time, there was a wolf who was born in a cage. He lived in the cage for many years, dreaming every so often of finding his brothers and sisters, but less and less over the years as the cage sapped his spirit. One day, the door to the cage had gotten so rusty that it sprung open when the wolf rested his shoulder against it. The wolf felt great joy and he ran out into the sunlight.  Unfortunately, the sunlight hurt his eyes and the people outside were too much for the wolf who knew only the safety of his cage. So the wolf went to find a young lady zookeeper.

The wolf found a lady keeper and brought her back to his cage. "Won't you come with me", said the wolf. "I am big and fierce and nothing comes into my cage. Wouldn't it be nice to come in and be my forever friend?" And the lady keeper said "Oh yes, you are so strong, but wouldn't it be nice to come out into the sun with me every so often?" But she and the wolf never did.  Being with the wolf in his cage every day, changed the young woman. She grew old and sad before her time. It wasn't good for either her or the wolf. So one day, when the wolf's back was turned, his woman keeper escaped.  "Come back, come back, my forever friend" said the wolf, "without you I will die, but without my cage I will die! How can I live?"  But he had followed her out of his cage.

The rest of the story is up to her and to me now.

Sarge   

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Unwashed Village / Bad News, Good news.

« on: December 21, 2007, 04:01:05 AM »

Hey guys.

I've been gone for a while, and this is difficult to say. But I've got to get better at it, so here goes. 

My wife of five years just left me.

Its still sinking in, but the upshot is, true to my spirit, I ran away. A wolf like me can't live in captivity. Did she leave me first, absolutely. But we were done for anyway, and I'm just grateful, just grateful.  I've got an important story to tell and a new lease on life and I wish you all the best. I think I'm going to start a blog about my experiences.  Wish me luck.  And I'm going to be around a lot more in the immediate future.

Sarge

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Unwashed Village / The Incredible Shrub! (explains a lot)

« on: October 14, 2007, 07:09:49 PM »

George W. Bush, Governor, presidential candidate, Dick Cheney and the neocons searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths of the Executive Branch. Then, an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry.

<thunderclap>

And now, when George W. Bush grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs.

The Incredible SHRUB: Rawrrrr...

The creature is driven by rage and pursued by a political reporter,

W.: Ms. Ivin's, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

The Incredible SHRUB: Rawwwrr!


The Oval Office:

W.: Now Dick.. Did you see what Congress did to Al? Did you see what they did!  I, it just makes me... so...

Dick Cheney: Now George... Just calm down, you know what happens when you get... MY GOD!!  Oh my heart!

(*Eye's turn white)

The Incredible SHRUB: RAWWRRRR... Congress... hurt.... GONZ!! SHRUB SMASH!!

Dick Cheney: No... George.. Calm down!!  Calm down!  Put down the desk George!

The Incredible SHRUB: CONGRESS... INSURE... CHILDREN!!! SPEND... GREEN! GREEN... LIKE SHRUB!  NO MORE GREEN!!!  SHRUB.... VETO!!! RAWWWR!!

Dick Cheney: No...  No VETO!  George... green good!  Green good! Green good for war!

The Incredible SHRUB(confused): Dick? GREEN GOOD? SHRUB... GOOD? 

Dick Cheney(clutching his chest): Yes... Yes.. Shrub good!  That's it...  Calm down... Oh...

W (clothes shredded): My God... Oh Dick.. What have I done?  I vetoed the child insurance bill!

*Tune in next week for more of "The Incredible SHRUB!"   

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Unwashed Village / EEEK!! I'm SOOOO Happy!

« on: October 14, 2007, 05:23:21 AM »

 :nice: I met Phil and Kaja Foglio of  www.girlgenius.net!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Bounce, Bounce, Bounce!!! 

They were at the Reflections conference at Urbana Champaign and I got to meet them and they made my Millenia!!  And then I went and harassed Nvidia about SLI. Which topped it off nicely. 

Did I mention I'm HAPPY!   

I actually held it together pretty well, considering, y'know. 

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Unwashed Village / The heck with the eighties! Name something good from 1979!

« on: October 08, 2007, 06:11:55 AM »

I dare you!  My year of birth and not a single good thing happened on the face of the earth.  And no like personal good things that happened top you. General positive, nice things that effected more than about 100 people.  I always laugh about those birthday book things that list all the good stuff that happened in the fifties if you were born in 1954 or some such.  :guitarist: