Something very important has happened in my life.

[Xerxes]

To explain this I will have to explain something I normally guard VERY carefully... but I need to tell it to someone outside my family and the Village has been there in some very bad times before.

I was sexually abused by one of my teachers at my boarding school. About twenty years ago, and the teacher in question was a special policeman at the time as well as being the school scoutmaster.

About a year ago I reported him (ironically, to the police station he used to serve at as it's my local police station) and a detective dealt with me - she took my statement about precisely what happened and when, details I haven't shared with my parents or counsellor or psychologist (and don't intend to!)

Now, the Crown Prosecution Service decided not to prosecute him for abusing me, but did prosecute him for indecent images of children they found when he was arrested. He pleaded guilty and his sentencing hearing was this Tuesday at the Crown Court.

He got a year in prison (and I'm human enough to hope that, as a former copper and a sex offender, he finds it sheer unmitigated hell) but he also got fifteen years on the Sex Offenders Register. Because I gave evidence, the police could apply for the extended term on the S.O.R. and although I didn't get what I really wanted (a court saying "Yes, we accept this happened to you. In recognition of that fact we will send him to prison for many many years") I got what I was really after, i.e. he will be watched very closely until he is too old to be any sort of threat to children.

Why have I told you this? I needed to talk to someone. And I hope all at the Bastard Bar will raise a glass to the toast "Good riddance to bad rubbish" (In tea for Sylvy Bee, of course).

Yours,
Xerxes.

[Brugdor]

Grats to you for having the courage to make sure he isn't able to do this to other kids for quite some time. I hope he spends as much time behind bars as possible.

[Doombot]

I hope this doesn't sound flip but...

Kudos for stepping forward. You may have prevented him from abusing another person.

Yes. Good riddance to bad rubbish and hugs to you!

[Hoopy Frood]

*Raises a mug in toast to you and the fact that the chances of him doing this again have greatly diminished.*

[Desolo]

It took lot to do what needed to be done, and you stepped up and did it..... *Mug rasied*

May he get what he truly, truly deserves in his time behind bars..... Inmates do terrible things to ex-cops, much less sucgh filith..... maybe they will have a "special" drive to make life hell for this fucking trash.

[AcdQueen89]

*raises glass*

i'm just grateful that you've taken the steps you need to to get past this and move on to where you find happiness.

[Turjan]

In our country, where the judicial and police system is infamous for protecting its own, I'd say this counts as a victory, yes indeed

Well done that man - the only way the monsters that live in the dark corners of the system can be exposed is when someone has the courage to defy the odds and drag them squealing into the light.

This guy may not have got a long custodial sentence, but the life he knew before is over now, and there's no shadow for him to hide in any more. He's out in the open, and that light out there? It burns...

[Celest]

-nods- Going through such situations are hell.. especially the whole 'going through Mitigation' part. Sucks that he didnt get punished for what he did to you but atleast, as you say, they will have an eye on the bastard so that he cant do it to anyone else.

[AcdQueen89]

they boyfriend reading over my should has asked me to post this:

"May you find twenty bucks in your pants after they come out of the dryer and may he find the soap in the showers very slippery"

[karategoldfish]

That took a whole bunch of guts and it's great that you spoke up. Congrats. We are all proud of you!

[Chucara]

Well done indeed. You may well have saved other children from the same fate. Bravely done. Pay no mind to the fact that he wasn't convicted in your case, but rest well knowing that you did something to stop him.

[TK]

There's something to be said for seeing justice done in your own case but the most important thing is knowing that the world recognises a monster for what it is.  This will help you heal the wounds and come to terms with the fact that what happened to you has made you who you are today, that knowledge can be crippling or profoundly empowering. 

I'm who I am today both in spite of and because of similar experience when I was younger; it has made me quiet, introspective and has been a bit of a sticking point when it comes to forming deep relationships.  I know that it has also driven my determination not to be defined by the hardships and deprivations life can throw at me because I have a fundamental understanding of how deep indignity can be.  It has also taught me the value of strong relationships and how to recognise them when they come around.

I found myself actually wishing my abuser peace at the same time as being happy that he couldn't affect the life of anyone else in the same way he did to mine when I found out that he had died.  Ultimately he was a sick man who allowed his appetites to push him towards his own destruction, his life acts as a reminder to me that I need to be both compassionate and to make sure that my flaws don't push me towards a life of bad choices and irredeemable mistakes.  People who are very close to me have allowed their lives to follow a path of destructive excess and ultimately life destroying sadness because of abuse in their past.

You've done a very brave thing and this should serve as a starting point of a life where you can use this experience as a positive motivational force.  I wish you heartfelt luck for the future and hope that you find a way to make this experience a pillar to your life and avoid seeing it as a millstone.

I thought I would just add that I spent a lot of time being very angry and that coming to acceptance and a modicum of forgiveness came at the end of a very long process which I think is still on going.  You're right to be angry and still to hate him, you may never think like I do about it all because every one deals with things differently, we just need to deal with it in the way that's right four our lives, our self esteem and our own dignity.

Incidentally my abuser got three years, while I still don't think this was long enough it has ceased to bear any relevance to my life as it stands now and the most important thing remains the fact that he was convicted and exposed.

[BlueCross]

Awesome courage by you.  Well done.

[Xerxes]

Thanks, chaps.

TK, I did what I did because I had no choice. I am what I am both because and in spite of what happened to me. I do the best I can and let Cthulu take the rest. I would see my abuser given a very long time in prison but as it happens I will have to settle for one year.Sometimes one must settle for what one can get.