Weigh in on my relationship!

[Thanatos]

Right, I've got some bitch drama on my mind, let me know what you think.

I love the crap out of my woman and she loves the crap out of me, the only problem is, we don't like to do any of the same stuff, and she actively disapproves of some of the stuff I like to do, and I actively find most of the stuff she likes to do boring

so what do you assholes think, can you rock out a relationship based solely on mutual interest in each other, or do you need other interests

[Hoopy Frood]

Depends. My ex and I had a lot of differences, partly as to why she's my ex now.

My current girlfriend and I are similar in many ways, including interests, and we still have a very strong relationship after 18 months or so now.

So on my experience, I'd say no.

But I've seen it work in other circumstances.

So I guess it comes down to how comitted each of you are to the relationship, and you probably want to find some activity that you both can enjoy. But if you don't mind that the other person likes to do their own thing, it should't be too much of an issue.

[Solwyn]

I dunno if I can say anything that Hoopy hasn't, or that you probably don't already know

But I will say that the moment I knew I was in love with my wife was when I happened upon an issue of Wizard magazine in her dorm room. Then I saw the rest of her comic collection and the art she'd done and spent the next few years coming up with the proper timing for the wedding proposal.

In any case, I think the mutual interests are what brought us together. It seems to me like you and your woman already passed that step and are on to being enamored with the things about each other that go beyond reading and food preferences. Stuff like your character traits and the parts of yourselves that you are proud (sometimes not so proud) to share with one another.

I think as long as you have something to love, pastimes are kind of just that, a way to pass the time. Granted, you said you actively disapprove of certain things in one another, and depending on the severity that can be an issue (aka one of you smokes weed and hates that the other doesn't, can cause HUGE issues down the road, I've seen that one). But if you just make fun of her because she likes Sailor Moon, I think worse things could happen.

Note: my wife does love sailor moon. And I never stop making fun of her for it.

[BlueCross]

Ain't gonna work.

Stick to the sex and let the rest of it go.

[JC]

She should dump you.

[Brugdor]

In my humble opinion, if you love someone you look beyond the things they do that you don't like and do things with them that you don't enjoy doing just because you are with them while you are doing them.

So all of these things would be non-issues or at least issues you'd easily dismiss if you were really in love, IMO.

[The SysMan]

I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to women. Seriously. I think girls are some type of mineral salt...

But if you are having problems with you liking interests X and her having interests Y... is it possible for both of you to put your heads together and come up with a new mutual interest Z?
O.o

[AcdQueen89]

kiwi does have a point.

there is alot that my bf thinks i'm insane for liking/doing. the same goes with what i think about his actions/likes. having days sitting together at home doing nothing keeps us surviving. having seperate and mutual friends helps with that. his best/oldest friend is someone i dont really like dealing with but i tell him to go hang out with his friend. the same with some of my friends.

talking to her about it helps too. if you both see this as something that will not be worth getting over then that needs to be said. if you still want things to keep going, then that eneds to be said too.

[Chucara]

From what I know about you, and given the fact I know absolutely nothing about your girl, I'd say that you lucky no matter what you drag home.

Naah.. Personally, I find that while shared interests are nice at times, I would be absolutely sickened if I did *everything* with my girlfriend. As long as you get along and can do some stuff together, it can be great to have some interests that aren't the same, as it gives both if you time apart.

My girlfriend loves horses.. I don't. So when she tends the overgrown pony, I can roam the house screaming, naked and covered in margerine (which is one of my hobbies)

[BlueCross]

*checks Chucara's meds*

Yup, he got the dosage wrong again...

[Sylvee Bee]

"she actively disapproves of some of the stuff I like to do"

that almost always means an unhappy relationship for both people. she's upset when you do stuff, you are upset when she nags about it.  of course people hang on in not so perfect relationships for years based on being in love.   it's far to easy to love the wrong person, the hard part is admitting it and moving on.

but to the real question, yes - I think that you can be with someone and not have the same interests, there has gotta be middle ground though.  Can ya come together at the end of the night and discuss your day...in your story she gets mad at some of your stuff and you yawn at some of her stuff.

with that being said, you are both so young and will probably both end up finding many new things to be interested in, who's to say you won't end up being more compatible then you are now. 

[Night Owl]

shared interests are nice, but definitely not necessary. My wife and I have few shared interests (hobbies, etc.) The things we DO share are the important things - we agree on money stuff, levels of neatness, we're both homebodies with little need to "go out", etc. I don't think it would work if we were radically different in those areas.

That said, what do you do that she disapproves of?

[Max Stone]

calling it bitch drama might be a sign of a few problems...

[Night Owl]

calling it bitch drama might be a sign of a few problems...

heh heh - good point!!!

[Thanatos]

Not really.  C'mon, you guys know me- that's just how I talk.  I think it's cool to swear!

Seriously.  If language is a meal, curses are the spice.

I've really liked all the responses!   I appreciate the feedback and I'm gonna try to answer any questions, but since Owl's was the latest and easiest-  I like to drink, and she hates alcohol.  That's pretty much it.  I mean, I'm not like a creepy middle aged alcoholic, I'm 23 and Irish and a frat boy.  I'll slow down.  Eventually.

Much love to this thread and everyone who has posted in it!