still homeless, still jobless and still grieving but I'm feeling a lot better than I was at the start of the year. Most days are still an emotional minefield but at least I can leave the house without much of a hissy fit now.
its actually been a difficult 2 years since my family has lost 5 people over that period of time but losing Andy at the end of 2008 was the worse for obvious reasons.
2009 has been a write-off essentially but I'm kinda glad since I've just spent most of the year getting stoned, writing, reading, taking photos, visiting places and people and thinking bout what I want to do next.
I'm incredibly grateful for how supportive my friends have been and I owe it all to them for getting me out and experiencing life in stead of just letting me sit in my bed, smoking.
Thanks to the various people in my life, this year I have been to Skye, Holland/Amsterdam, Versaille/Paris, taken numerous trips to London and Aberdeen, lots of walks around the Scottish countryside, climbed various mountains and rocks, scrambled along coastlines and I also got to spend a lovely summer weekend out in a bothy on the West Coast of Scotland where I could run about the beach naked with my friends. Also noteworthy is a Saturday I spent with my 2 best female friends in Edinburgh when we drank from 10am til 3am the next day and thanks to my best male friend, I got to run around a 16th century castle in burlesque gear and wander around the grounds stoned and drunk watching bats and looking at stars. its all been very therapeutic.
I doubt I'm going to jump straight into a 9-5 job as soon as 2010 hits but I'm hoping to be emotionally stable enough to consider a part time job and hopefully the council will find me a flat soon which I can call my own.
so, now you know. emotionally I've had a shit couple of years but I'm starting to think I'm going to be ok.....I'm just hoping to catch a break and nothing else bad happens
hugs to everyone