Because they occasionally come up with gems like this: (N.B. this one is NOT seven years old)
Gateshead woman denies biting off testicles
A mother of four accused of biting off her boyfriend's testicles has denied grievous bodily harm.
Maria Topp, 43, allegedly attacked Martin Douglas at his Newcastle flat at 0400 GMT on 18 February.
He required emergency hospital treatment for his injuries.
Ms Topp, from Aycliffe Place, Wrekenton, Gateshead, appeared at Newcastle Crown Court for a brief hearing on Thursday to deny the charge. She was granted bail.
Her two or three-day trial will be fixed later.
So much funny stuff about this (well, barring the pain and mutilation, of course).
First, I read that "she was granted ball".
And the last sentence certainly has a different connotation for most Yanks.
And I really want to be at trial.
"No, your honor, I did NOT bite off his testicles. I was just... um... " (*thinks a bit, and decides against the Ball Licking Defense*)
((I'll leave this as a 'Caption This Ending' exercise))
