Unwashed Village
General Discussion => Unwashed Village => Topic started by: The Hanged Man on July 04, 2013, 12:11:12 PM
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The morning begins like any independence day; the village is foggy and desolate with the only ambience coming from the creaks and clunks of spambots running through the streets.
The fog begins to clear as a ship docks at the harbour, the ship is a Viking longship with the British flag painted across its sails and the ship holds an army of chavs armed with cricket bats and bicycle chains.
The crudely equipped army begin to storm the beach...
"Today is the day that we take Americaland back!" Their leader cries from the stocks.
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I demand to know where the British got that ship!
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I demand to know where the British got that ship!
It has been in production for over a year dear boy!
http://unwashed.eu/forum/index.php?topic=2802.0
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I thought we'd sold them to the French or something like that.
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No, these were built with the expressed intention of invading 'murica!
Now, advance mechanized infantry!
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/threecounties/content/images/2008/05/12/pic_01_353x470.jpg)
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I also thought we established last year that we didn't really want them back anyway.
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You established that, I seek to rebuild the British empire. :)
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Murica
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found this in my facebook feed (http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-american-revolution-was-a-flop/2013/07/03/fd077db0-e02b-11e2-b2d4-ea6d8f477a01_story.html)
/relavent
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found this in my facebook feed (http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-american-revolution-was-a-flop/2013/07/03/fd077db0-e02b-11e2-b2d4-ea6d8f477a01_story.html)
/relavent
(http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/spelling-nazi.jpg)
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You k ow they tried that once..... Then Hutch sent me a link here
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Americans! The promise of liberty fought for by your forefathers has been perverted and betrayed. Obama is at least as bad as King George III, except that he isn't mad - he wants to remove your liberty (what he has not already got) and reduce you to sheep. I don't believe Queen Elizabeth II wants this, nor would it benefit her. Is there still enough strength in the Colonies to face evil and beard the lion in his lair? We can still face the securocrats and beat them with democracy. We can bring MI6 to heel, and the CIA and FBI too. They, even in their evil, can be brought to face the justice of democracy.
Benjamin Frankin spoke a creed which was by the law at the time both wrong and evil - but he was right! Can the Americans of today live up to the example of their heroic forefathers?
Xerxes.
Who admits he's been on the Village soapbox - but after his ninth pint thinks it's worth it.
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Benjamin Frankin spoke a creed which was by the law at the time both wrong and evil - but he was right!
Only nine pints to get to this? Perhaps you counted wrong.
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Wait... where'd the chavs go?
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Noooooooooooo! They ate little Jimmy and stole my power armor. :'(
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Don't worry chavs don't have the training, they'll have traded it for some buckfast at the offie so you should be able to get it back.
Was little Jimmy a cheeseburger? I think I ate that, sorry.
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Wait for it.....Wait for it......
4pm TeaTime!!!
brits gather for their teabreak....
FIRE!!!!
No more problem... Now what to do with the pretty ship...
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Erm... chavs don't drink tea.
You just blew up the tour guide...
Enough of this!
Chavs, execute operation Howling wolf!
*The chavs advance onto the beach, ready to invade. All hope seems lost when suddenly...*
Beep Beep
*The chavs look down at their bleeping phones and notice their notifications on Facebook and Twitter, they stand idly on the battlefield, flicking through their phones.*
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Then meuforce comes with his minigun, Shela, and mows down the chavs with explosive rounds. "Cry babys" yells meuforce as the chavs cry out in agony. "I win again". Then meuforce runs out of ammo and retreats to his hut for donuts and schnitzel. :P
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That's how it was planned anyway but inexplicably Meuforce shoots off in entirely the wrong direction hitting some rocks, dropping his weapon and doing 100 points of damage to himself.
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Hmm well they seem to bad bunch of folk. *Waves at the chavs throwing hand grenade at the lead chav* Nice to meet you. :P