Messages

1

Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 31, 2013, 02:16:54 PM »

I've survived lutefisk church dinners.  More than once!

I've just seen the Man V Food segment on lutefisk. The one where the bloke who eats maggots off rotting corpses says that he successfully avoided the stuff for years.

I have only one question to ask about lutefisk:

Why?

And I say that as someone who's going to cook Mr. Brain's Faggots (pig offal, breadcrumbs, and onions, shaped into balls and baked. Not the US derogatory term for a homosexual!) for his family's tea and is looking forward to them, with mash, peas, and a bit of onion gravy/ Delicious!

I don't think even Hákarl would work - and I wouldn't make the rest of the Village face it.

You win, BlueCross.

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Unwashed Village / I'm tired.

« on: October 25, 2013, 03:57:31 AM »

The other side have asked for eight weeks more - why? What paperwork will they find in eight months that they can't find in six? I will bear this. I will be strong. It's the only option. But dear God I wish I didn't have to. How long must I bear this burden?

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Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 21, 2013, 08:09:00 PM »

Right! If nothing else will avail me then I am forced to this last expedient. Haggis pakora with chilli sauce. Deep fried haggis in batter, with the strongest chilli sauce the chip shop does.

Hah!

*disarms BlueCross by putting the Marmalite on toast and eating it*

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Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 19, 2013, 12:04:30 AM »

*deftly parries the jar of Marmalite with his Xcutsel Widget*

What is Marmalite, anyway? If it is a form of Marmite, know you that I am immune to all forms of Marmite.

*produces a can of surströmming, and advances menacingly on BlueCross with a can-opener*

I've got surströmming and I'm not afraid  to use it!

Just try me...

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Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 18, 2013, 04:24:02 PM »

I am warning you, BlueCross, that if I am denied my tangerinezooka, I will have to resort to...

THE BLACK PUDDING!

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Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 16, 2013, 05:09:39 PM »

Hanged man, thanks, and it's HeroMachine v3, at http://www.heromachine.com/heromachine-3-lab/.

Update from last night - have now got lawyer's letter. Turns out it's the statement of claim - precisely how much we're asking the other side for. Why the bloody hell they couldn't have just told me that yesterday, I don't know.

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Unwashed Village / Re: A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 16, 2013, 02:51:56 AM »

It was the closest representation I could get to my brown, very curly hair, which does tend to form a sort of helmet around my head if I've not been to the barber in a while. No offence intended to anyone (of any colour) - it's a stylized representation of a version of me.

Besides, I'm on my fourth pot of very strong tea. I would feel less odd after a bottle of bourbon.

PS. 2:20 am. Now on fifth pot of tea - four-bag Dilmah. Will keep updated.

8

Unwashed Village / A new picture of Xerxes!

« on: October 15, 2013, 10:05:23 PM »

I was playing with the character portrait generator, and I thought it would be fun to create an avatar for myself, which I here enclose. It will be altered as I get more comfortable with the character generator, but for the time being, here it is:

Please note the following:

a) I am, of course, much more ruggedly handsome than this picture suggests (well, actually it doesn't have any other options for male bodies)

b) My red coat, with epaulettes denoting my rank of Major-General

c) A tangerinezooka, for dealing with miscreants

d) Over my other shoulder, my Xcutsel Widget, in one of it's many forms.

Oh, and while I'm here...

I phoned the lawyers to see what was happening today, and they said that they'd written me a letter, and I was to ring them after I'd read it *swears profusely, using a particularly vile and deadly oath*. This means that I know something's coming down the pipeline, it's too important for the phone or email, and I can't do a blessed thing about it until the letter arrives. This has left me on tenterhooks. Normally, I'd have a few beers and forget about the whole thing until tomorrow, but the shopping arrives tomorrow and my mother believes that the Sainsbury's delivery man will be offended by the sight of a hungover Xerxes.

I will update you as soon as I know what the hell is going on.

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Unwashed Village / Re: Even as we read this...

« on: October 13, 2013, 02:54:26 AM »

Even so - even the Tea Party must have some people who know how finance works? Besides, it's not a question of the US getting an NHS - that would be worth going to the barricades for! It's just that some people who would now die because they can't afford medical treatment will get lifesaving treatment. It has yet to be explained to me why this is such a bad thing.

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Unwashed Village / Re: Internet

« on: October 13, 2013, 02:26:31 AM »

I was pretty much fueled by alcohol, stupidity and arrogance back then so my memories are less than clear.  It was a huge heap of fun though, the village is pretty awesome.

Still am fuelled by alcohol and stupidity, but I would argue not arrogance. The Village is indeed pretty awesome. I remember my first thing I did on getting to a computer with Internet access at university (and that was 2000) was to reconnect with the Village.

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Unwashed Village / Re: Even as we read this...

« on: October 13, 2013, 01:56:29 AM »

The thing I don't see is what either side has to gain from a US default. The net result would be that the dollar was dumped as the world's reserve currency in favour of the Euro or the Chinese renminbi. The US would lose countless advantages as a result. Are the Republicans that insane that they are willing to destroy the dollar to try and stop a policy that the US people have backed?

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Unwashed Village / Re: Peter Capaldi as the 12th Doctor!

« on: October 03, 2013, 05:08:52 PM »

Welcome, veryblackraven, to the Village! Have a complimentary cup of tea and tangerine. Don't worry about the ticking - that's what it's meant to do!

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Unwashed Village / Re: On the Imminent closure of the US Government and Obamacare

« on: October 03, 2013, 02:47:28 PM »

*presses button 525 on the Xcutsel Widget, making himself Lord High Everything Else*

*presses button 939 on said widget, setting out wench-bait of chocolate and wine*

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Unwashed Village / Re: Fallout: Lanius

« on: September 24, 2013, 10:38:43 PM »

Welcome indeed, Sympleton.

*grabs the mysterious ticking and glowing object, and Sovereign Glues it to TK*

Here, have a goblet of my homebrewed wine.

It's good for you, honest!

15

Unwashed Village / Re: Love

« on: September 17, 2013, 02:54:34 PM »

Congratulations, Alderach!

*manly handshake*

Nice cufflinks!