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Author Topic: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat  (Read 10145 times)

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JC

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I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« on: August 14, 2007, 11:00:29 PM »
Ever since my readings on the topic of George Bataille and his secretive Acephale cult (and critical art magazine on Nietzsche!), I have wanted to be a genuine deluded mystic.  To this end, I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat open to all who profess a wide range of vague beliefs in a somewhat corporeal, not-quite-human Goat-like God-being (of nondescript gender, race and dietary affiliation).

Another thread on this board has suggested the legendary Shub-Niggurath as a possible fountainhead of the Goat Cult Pantheon, but TomCo did note his apparent weakness to axes (and dammit if I found a cult with weak, Goat-God monsters).

Are there any plausible suggestions for a deity?
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Unwashed_Amazon

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2007, 11:06:14 PM »
Pan?


Does this mean we get to eat lamb or not?
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The SysMan

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2007, 12:14:35 AM »
Who needs permission?
=nom=
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"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
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Hoopy Frood

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2007, 01:51:41 AM »
You'll never convert me from the wonder that is the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
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All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

JC

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2007, 03:34:28 AM »
Quote from: Hoopy Frood on August 15, 2007, 01:51:41 AM
You'll never convert me from the wonder that is the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Pft, just read the first rule of the cult:

Rule #1: You will immediately convert to this cult

Having read that, we welcome you to the cult, convert.
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Chucara

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2007, 01:25:42 PM »
Count me in! What could possibly go wrong with a goat-worshiping cult?

Also, for rule no. 2, I suggest:

Rule #2: You do not talk about Fight Club.

It's a great movie and all, but we've all seen it and there is no reason to keep analyzing it. Also, if there are people, that haven't seen it yet, there no reason to ruin the ending.
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Hoopy Frood

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2007, 08:10:58 PM »
Quote from: Chucara on August 15, 2007, 01:25:42 PM
Rule #2: You do not talk about Fight Club.

It's a great movie and all, but we've all seen it and there is no reason to keep analyzing it. Also, if there are people, that haven't seen it yet, there no reason to ruin the ending.

She's a man! Uhhh...no that wasn't it.
He's Luke's father!  Damn, that wasn't it either.
He's really dead and only the boy sees him!  Can't be that one.
Rosebud was a sled!  Yeah, that's it!
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All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Hoopy Frood

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2007, 08:11:53 PM »
Quote from: JC on August 15, 2007, 03:34:28 AM
Quote from: Hoopy Frood on August 15, 2007, 01:51:41 AM
You'll never convert me from the wonder that is the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Pft, just read the first rule of the cult:

Rule #1: You will immediately convert to this cult

Having read that, we welcome you to the cult, convert.

Rules were meant to be broken.
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All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Chucara

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2007, 11:28:32 PM »
Wait this cult.. is it exclusive? I mean.. I just bought full pirate regalia so I can preach the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster..
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The SysMan

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2007, 11:36:33 PM »
I saw the Spagetti Monster once.
He was a big phony. He never flew once.
He just sat there, on his can in the supermarket, like he was better than me :(
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"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
Moo.

JC

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2007, 12:49:51 AM »
This cult is perfectly inclusive:

Rule #3: Rules are to be made entirely by making a post stating the rule.  Authority to makes rules is universal.

If you find anything about this cult that might exclude your membership, just make a rule that invalidates the previous rule with which you took issue.
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The SysMan

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2007, 01:11:27 AM »
Rule 4: NO POOFTERS
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"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
Moo.

Chucara

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2007, 01:14:33 AM »
Rule 6: POOFTERS!
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The SysMan

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2007, 01:22:26 AM »
Quote from: Chucara on August 16, 2007, 01:14:33 AM
Rule 6: POOFTERS!

There is NOO Rule 6!
Rule 7: No poofters!
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"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
Moo.

Unwashed_Amazon

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Re: I hereby found the UV Cult of the Goat
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2007, 01:23:57 AM »
Rule 5: It always comes back to Rule #5.
Also, poofters.
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