Hello all,
I've been away, but I am always here.
Many things have happened, there is another hat in the family... and my mother died. Last year, but it's still fresh in my mind.
Things haven't been looking so hot for dad either, the past few months. He never really lived alone before, and whilst liberating at first the loneliness has gotten to him and coupled with some health issues making him pretty much bedridden and with COVID haunting the outside and prohibiting most human interaction, well, he is deteriorating. Mom passed very suddenly, she got sick one day, was in the hospital for a week, got better, and then just died during the night. I had a good talk with her the day before, not knowing it was to be our last, though the thought had entered my mind.
With dad though? He is wasting. Becoming forgetful, weak, not eating well. I've set it up so he has daily care in the home now, to make sure he eats, and he will have a doctor checking in on him every now and then, but still, he is weak, and I don't know how much more time he has. I hate to think it, but I might lose him too, soon.
With my mother I have her diaries, and those she wrote for me. Dad writes a lot too, or wrote when he had the energy, but mostly theology and philosophy, though he has written some biographical musings as well.
It all leads me to this question; if you knew or at least suspected your parent(s) were dying, but knew there was still time before sense and sanity left them entirely, or health deteriorated to the point where they could no longer communicate meaningfully; what would you ask them? For those of you who have already lost a loved one, what did you wish you could have said?
My father is the type to hide his emotions, a product of his time and upbringing, but he is both kind and genuinely funny and has given me so much throughout my life - I hope everything turns out for the better but with the way 2020 is going... well, best be prepared for anything.
A hug for those that need or want it, safely electrical and distanced for these interesting times.