Author Topic: Contest! Ruin a movie!  (Read 22845 times)

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Loveshack

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2007, 05:07:32 AM »
Spence is quickly apprehended while trying to rob and sabotage the Hive.
"Nice try Horrigan!  Now... TASTE THE FURY OF VIC'S PIPE RIFLE!"

Loveshack

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2007, 05:09:08 AM »
A little boy named Jason dies when he's twelve years old while swimming.  He stays that way.
"Nice try Horrigan!  Now... TASTE THE FURY OF VIC'S PIPE RIFLE!"

A.S.S.R.

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2007, 05:20:04 AM »
A young Vito Corleone is refused entry to America.

He returns to Sicily, joining the priesthood.

inso

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2007, 05:37:38 AM »
Animal Rights Activist: "You know what? Let's get real jobs instead of letting those experimental rage-monkeys free..."

Ash decides that the Necronomicon is "too boring" and uses it for kindling.

King Leonidas loses his voice from shouting "SPARTAAAAAA!!!!" all the time and decides to stay home.

and so on.


Doombot

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #19 on: October 02, 2007, 06:36:46 AM »
"I wanna GO SEE A MOVIE!!!"

The Wayne's decide to stop indulging their spoiled rich kid son and send him to his room. The movie follows Bruce for the next thirty years as he squanders the movie (and his money).

The movie ends in a twist of irony with him stealing pearls off some movie goer to pay for his drug habit.
Will I get Night Owl points for quitting but not as much for getting fired?
Will I still be a member of the Owl's Pals? I'd hate to turn in my card. It's got a real owl feather under the lamination and everything.


Night Owl: Oh, indeed. I quit many a job ...better than being fired. You can keep your card... in fact, you get double points for quitting!


Brugdor

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #20 on: October 02, 2007, 10:41:52 AM »
A young Steve Rogers doesn't want anything to do with Super Soldier Serum as he's joined the Nazi party and moves to Germany. Unfortunately at that point they realize he's gay and it's off to the concentration camps for him.
"When planning a new picture we don't think of grown ups and we don't think of children but just of that fine, clean, unspoiled spot down deep in every one of us that maybe the world has made us forget and that maybe our pictures can help recall." - Walt Disney

Hoopy Frood

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #21 on: October 02, 2007, 01:31:56 PM »
Neo takes the green pill.

The pill was blue, not green.

Isuldur throws the ring into mount Doom after the army of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men defeat Sauron and his forces.
All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

TK

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2007, 02:33:49 PM »
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.

Hoopy Frood

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2007, 09:48:21 PM »
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.

Cheater! That references the Silmarillion of which no movie has ever been made.
All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

The SysMan

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #24 on: October 02, 2007, 09:49:31 PM »
Harry falls off his broom and breaks his neck during a Quiddich match.
"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
Moo.

Brugdor

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #25 on: October 02, 2007, 09:55:05 PM »
Beverly Hills Cop -

Detective Foley has already spent all of his vacation time.
"When planning a new picture we don't think of grown ups and we don't think of children but just of that fine, clean, unspoiled spot down deep in every one of us that maybe the world has made us forget and that maybe our pictures can help recall." - Walt Disney

Doombot

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #26 on: October 02, 2007, 10:49:24 PM »
Ted Striker crashes his plane and never gets over Macho Grande.
Will I get Night Owl points for quitting but not as much for getting fired?
Will I still be a member of the Owl's Pals? I'd hate to turn in my card. It's got a real owl feather under the lamination and everything.


Night Owl: Oh, indeed. I quit many a job ...better than being fired. You can keep your card... in fact, you get double points for quitting!


The SysMan

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #27 on: October 02, 2007, 11:45:33 PM »
The Dread Pirate Roberts really does kill Wesley in the morning.
"This man seems to possess a dangerous animal cunning... The kind of cleverness to rip off your arms to crush you at chess!"

TSM: A member of the UV since March 1999.
"When God gives you lemons, you find a new God."
Moo.

TK

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #28 on: October 03, 2007, 12:28:33 AM »
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.

Cheater! That references the Silmarillion of which no movie has ever been made.

I'm not cheating merely being creative, I've ruined five existing films and one in production by undermining the backstory.

How about these? 

Bastian runs right past the bookshop

Peter parker is fatally allergic to spider venom

Buttercup makes the first move on Westley and they move to Australia OR Columbo brings along a book of scripts from the show, it becomes a film about the first case of abuse through predictable storylines

Krypton implodes seconds before Jor-El launches the pod
« Last Edit: October 03, 2007, 12:38:28 AM by TK »

Brugdor

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Re: Contest! Ruin a movie!
« Reply #29 on: October 03, 2007, 12:34:50 AM »
Jake Elwood loves Illinois nazis
"When planning a new picture we don't think of grown ups and we don't think of children but just of that fine, clean, unspoiled spot down deep in every one of us that maybe the world has made us forget and that maybe our pictures can help recall." - Walt Disney