According to the owner...
I have a poor attitude and I'm not a team player.
But first! Let's go to the play by play.
According to the owner I'm really smart and when I 'can't' do something it's because I don't want to do it. Turns out I really understood the government grant but I didn't want to do it so I didn't understand it. That's her theory. SO I've done everything else but that one thing sets a precedent.
Turns out that EVERYONE talks about my poor attitude. I have a poor attitude. EVERYONE says it. You can go ahead and ask people. She then started mentioning names. You have a poor attitude (Like I'm really going to ask people. "HEY! I HEARD YOU SAID I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE?!?!")
I'm really smart and fast at things I like to do. BOOM... I get things done.
However...
I don't seem like I feel I'm a member of the team and I'm in my own little world.
Mmmmm yeah. She's right. Honestly it just feels like a job. A job that I do well but I'm not going to kill myself by going overboard. I don't feel like I'm a member of a family. I don't really want to feel like I'm a member of the family. I come in, do my work, do a bit more than you expect and I leave. My phone seems to lose it's battery on the weekends and I just can't be reached after hours. Darn phone.
For me being in my own little world... Yeah. I can give her that. That's a mark of creative and computer people. A good number of us just like to sit in our little corner and do our things. Honestly... I'm not even really interested in what some of them have to say. "Oh guess who's sleeping with Luis!!???" I. Don't. Care. I don't ask about your boyfriend. I don't care about your 2nd boyfriend. I don't care about the party for your daughter. However the moment your daughter is sick, I'm there covering for you and telling you to take your time while you leave to check on her.
So I don't chit chat. I don't roll my eyes when I hear about relationship issues but I don't invite more conversation on it. I'm just not interested that your boyfriend almost caught you with another guy.
Also... I should be committed. "Jen... some of the people here work 50 hours a week. I see you leave at your regular time. Sometimes you'll give us an extra 15 minutes or you'll stay if we ask but I just don't see a level of commitment I like. You don't work extra."
Jen: "Well... I have to disagree with that. My contact says 40 - 45 hours a week. Technically I can satisfy that requirement with 40 hours a week. I work 43 so I'm on the high end of the average."
Owner: "Yeah... I still don't like that. To me... the ones that are truely committed work 50 hours a week."
Jen: *thinks* "Yes... If I wanted to work 50 hours a week, I feel I should committed too. Right to the nearest pych ward."
I am NOT working an extra day just to get a pat on the head.
So I'm being reprimanded because I'm not giving the company an extra day like the people that are committed.
I'm ok with that.
As for my attitude. We all have flaws and sometimes it's hard to see it. However one thing I do know is I have a mix of happy peppy are sarcastic. My sarcastic side comes out online. Even then it's rare and usually as a form of humor. If anything people say I'm slightly annoying because I'm smiling and peppy. I know I'm not foul to people. It one thing I try very hard to do and that's to be nice to people. Even the managers tell me how nice it is to be able to give me something and not have an attitude. One lady was crying when she said it. So is it a conspiracy where they give me praise in person and then run to the owner with tales of horror?
So... this brings me to an interesting theory.
I was told before this meeting that the owner will LIE. I heard it about 3 different times during the last two years. She will LIE to get people to compete with each other. She'll say: "So and so said this and that you aren't a good worker." I assume she hopes to hear: "What? I am too... I'll show them how good of a worker I am. I'll put in MORE hours and let them say that then."
So... I think she's telling me this to have a mental bargaining chip. People say you're mean so perhaps you should make up for that by being happy with the assignments and maybe working extra hours.
I was also told: "I should find ways to dazzle her. I want you to constant think of ways you can impress me."
=o
Then I was told about 5 different times in the meeting how I'm unhappy doing admin. No. That's not what I was getting at. What I'm saying is, you have someone who's had their own businesses, marketing degrees and knows the internet and you have her enter addresses into the computer and fold papers. While this is going on, your business is in the negatives. You are losing several thousand dollars from last year and even more if you assume a positive growth. You don't want to spent 100.00 a week on a clerk to do menial stuff. So I thought! Hey! You're losing money! Why don't you have the Web Guru do some more marketing for you. You'll make MONEY!
Jen... I know you don't like to do data entry.
Jen: NO... you see I want the business to make money...
Jen... everyone has things they don't like to do.
Jen: No... that's not the point. I do things I don't like to do. I just think you might like more sales and...
Jen... Sometimes I go to meetings I don't like...
Jen: Yeah. That's cool. But I'm thinking if I can get that blog up....
Jen... I think you're just going to have to accept you have some admin...
Jen: Uh... ok. *headsmack*
Seriously. If I had someone like NightOwl in my employee... I wouldn't have him doing data entry. He'd be doing what he does best: Writing letters and making me money so I COULD hire an extra person.
Shrug. =)
Taken into the bosses office and being reprimanded for putting my own life ahead of a job. I feel so Night Owly.
*holds up my Owl's Pals card*
