Author Topic: What's going on in your life?  (Read 182877 times)

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AcdQueen89

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1170 on: June 23, 2015, 07:46:06 AM »
Hi.

Hello and welcome! Don't mind the tumbleweeds.

Or the tangerines
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KMD

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1171 on: July 22, 2015, 08:03:08 PM »
A few days ago, I found out that my uncle passed away. It was the second death in my extended family in the past year, and a major one.
The thing about my uncle was, he had a stroke about 20 years ago, a few years after I was born. The stroke impaired him physically and mentally; Although he could fully understand normal speech, he lost most ability to speak smoothly and basically all ability to read. His communication was limited to one or two words at a time (i.e. Yes, Beer, Thank you etc) and had a limited vocabulary. He lost the ability to use his right arm, and had to walk with a cane slowly. Most people would assume he was mentally handicapped, and many people probably did when we went out, but I always talked to him just like anyone else, and he could understand me. I never (or at least, rarely) talked down to him, since even with his handicap, he was always smiling and laughing and was interested and listening to what everyone had to say, even if he couldn't respond easily. Much of my life was spent planning around his physical limitations, and even though it was frustrating for him (just "frustrating" he would say) he taught me that personality shines through unfortunate handicaps that can and do affect many people.

I've been dreaming about work lately. Even inside our own imaginations, sometimes we cannot escape the stress of work and that is true torture. My job as a barista is pretty easy, but as my final year of college comes up, I'm considering not working so I can concentrate on absorbing what I'm learning in school. Working full time and going to school full time makes it hard to focus on either. I feel very bittersweet about college; I want to be done badly and get on with my life, but I enjoy the safety and information in academia. I wish I was enjoying my college more than I am though.

After college, i'm convinced that I want to spend time in another place, but i'm not sure where. I'm sure no matter where else I was at, I wouldn't feel like "I belong" as much as my hometown, and I'm convinced that wherever you go, people and things are basically the same.

Working and being in school has also made it hard for me to enjoy the summer. As I get older, I've begun to realize that its been a long time, far too long, since I've made happy "memories" with the people I love, and its something I want to catch up on in the coming years, and make a focus towards in future relationships and when I eventually start my own family. People come and go, but the memories live on forever within you.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2015, 08:31:55 PM by KMD »
In the wasteland, the sly survive and the past and present are one, the sinners rot and the future is the ultimate purgatory

Killmod/Jesse

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1172 on: July 24, 2015, 05:45:02 AM »
A few days ago, I found out that my uncle passed away. It was the second death in my extended family in the past year, and a major one.
The thing about my uncle was, he had a stroke about 20 years ago, a few years after I was born. The stroke impaired him physically and mentally; Although he could fully understand normal speech, he lost most ability to speak smoothly and basically all ability to read. His communication was limited to one or two words at a time (i.e. Yes, Beer, Thank you etc) and had a limited vocabulary. He lost the ability to use his right arm, and had to walk with a cane slowly. Most people would assume he was mentally handicapped, and many people probably did when we went out, but I always talked to him just like anyone else, and he could understand me. I never (or at least, rarely) talked down to him, since even with his handicap, he was always smiling and laughing and was interested and listening to what everyone had to say, even if he couldn't respond easily. Much of my life was spent planning around his physical limitations, and even though it was frustrating for him (just "frustrating" he would say) he taught me that personality shines through unfortunate handicaps that can and do affect many people.

I've been dreaming about work lately. Even inside our own imaginations, sometimes we cannot escape the stress of work and that is true torture. My job as a barista is pretty easy, but as my final year of college comes up, I'm considering not working so I can concentrate on absorbing what I'm learning in school. Working full time and going to school full time makes it hard to focus on either. I feel very bittersweet about college; I want to be done badly and get on with my life, but I enjoy the safety and information in academia. I wish I was enjoying my college more than I am though.

After college, i'm convinced that I want to spend time in another place, but i'm not sure where. I'm sure no matter where else I was at, I wouldn't feel like "I belong" as much as my hometown, and I'm convinced that wherever you go, people and things are basically the same.

Working and being in school has also made it hard for me to enjoy the summer. As I get older, I've begun to realize that its been a long time, far too long, since I've made happy "memories" with the people I love, and its something I want to catch up on in the coming years, and make a focus towards in future relationships and when I eventually start my own family. People come and go, but the memories live on forever within you.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
But it'll help

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1173 on: July 28, 2015, 02:29:02 AM »
A few days ago, I found out that my uncle passed away. It was the second death in my extended family in the past year, and a major one.

My condolences.
All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

KMD

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1174 on: August 12, 2015, 07:33:59 PM »
I got a "new" car. 1989 Volvo 740 Turbo. Replacing my 1988 Volvo 240, an iconic classic car, which made me passionate about cars and Volvo's design philosophy over the past 2 years. Volvo for Life.

The A/C finally works and so does the odometer. I can't wait to decide where I want to travel to, i'm thinking a trip to Florida in the next year.
In the wasteland, the sly survive and the past and present are one, the sinners rot and the future is the ultimate purgatory

Killmod/Jesse

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1175 on: August 15, 2015, 12:43:56 AM »
I finished my first year at University and it was a disaster to say the least, I didn't even get 10% of the overall mark for the whole year. This was mostly due to the fact that I had missed around 50% of my classes, because I was too depressed to face them. I spent a whole six months of my life lying every day just to make it from sunrise to sunset and it was one hell of a burden.

I had a poisonous anger inside of me that just burned away, stopping me from doing anything, I'd sit there for hours just getting more and more frustrated at things before I eventually gave up and went home or did some writing and eventually I couldn't even write anymore.

I could see my life falling apart and the worst part was that I didn't care, university didn't seem to matter, since my fellow students were assholes towards me and my lecturers were arrogant to say the least. When you can't sleep at night, because you just want to scream and punch the wall, taking shit from an old fart, because he apparently wrote a book at some point in his sad excuse of a life isn't all that appealing.

I did a number of stupid things during this time, just to keep it under wraps, I lied to throw people off of the scent, self harmed to keep control of my anger and broke contact with almost everyone in my life to keep myself from doing anything stupid and ruining my friendships. I honestly didn't see a future ahead of me and towards the end I was starting to plan on leaving my house and taking my chances out on the street, just so that I wouldn't burden my parents anymore.

When they found out, I thought I'd be disowned, they were disappointed and I doubt that anyone will trust me again but at least I don't have to lie anymore. It took us days to sort it out and my parents have been truly wonderful, understanding and supportive during that time. By all rights, they should have just told me to pack my bags and fuck off.

I've taken a year out of university to look into part time work, I was hoping to get something voluntary, where I could build up my confidence and take things easy, so that I could mature a little more. However, I was pleasantly surprised when an old teacher from high school got into contact with me and informed me that she had a placement at my old high school as an assistant of some sorts. It's paid work in a familiar environment, I don't even care if it's only for a month, it's perfect. (I don't know how long it's for right now.)

I'm actually quite excited to start it, hopefully this is the first step on the road to a brighter future.
The sun beyond the mountain glows
The yellow river seaward flows
You can enjoy a grander sight
By climbing to a greater height

I have run out of places to climb. I will abandon this body and take to the air. We will leave twin vapor trails in the air, white lines etched into these rocks. I am the aerial. In my passing, I will send news to each and every star.

Mrs Brown says: 'Hapiness is an effect, not a goal.'

Charlie is yelling @barit0wned
PC: A spider laid eggs inside my body and I need to get them out before they hatch
DM: You'll need the spider's permission first...

KMD

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1176 on: August 16, 2015, 06:14:47 AM »
That was intense, I read the whole thing, but thanks for sharing! Thats why this place (and this thread) exists.

I had a similar experience when I left university a few years ago, which I decided literally an hour before I went home for Christmas break, after talking to talk to the first girl I ever actually loved, but I would never hear from again. Your parents support you like they should, and thats good. My advice is to think long term, get some psychiatric help if you need it, and don't take too much time off from University! I took 3 years off partly due to depression and, it was a mistake. I can't speak for Universities in the UK, but I wouldn't recommend trying to finish university in your mid or late 20s, it fucking sucks. Get it over with and get a good paying career where you won't have to work 80 hours a week.

   As for me, the summers winding down and I can't wait for fall. As you get older, time goes by faster. I do a lot of things alone now, and its hard to see a significant other in my life when i'm not even sure what Love is.
In the wasteland, the sly survive and the past and present are one, the sinners rot and the future is the ultimate purgatory

Killmod/Jesse

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1177 on: August 31, 2015, 10:38:46 PM »
Yes, welcome indeed! Come to have your hope crushed and to feer our illusions for grandeur, stay because you can't make you way of out of the bastard bar.

KMD

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1178 on: October 30, 2015, 05:49:19 PM »
An Ikea store finally opened in St. Louis, and I went for the first time yesterday. For the past few years, I've had a real interest in scandinavian design so I was really excited. It was an experience, and such a famous corporate presence makes St. Louis feel a little more significant. It was mostly what I expected, but by the end I was pretty sick of seeing the minimalist styled furniture. Most everything felt as cheap as I'd heard, and the purposefully confusing layout felt very un-scandinavian.

I'd always idealized the midwest as the closest area the U.S. has to scandinavia; Settled by early northern europeans, Germans ( and in St. Louis' case at least, French). But people with a spirit of sensibility and integrity, who are drawn to the heartland and not the busy rich coasts. Obviously this is abstract idealism, but I wondered when in time we would develop a stronger cultural identity like the nordic countries.

I will say though, that Missouri (and most of southern Illinois) is probably the most assbackwards least progressive part of the Midwest. We like to say that Missouri would have been the last state to legalize gay marriage and marijuana use.

Also, at my job about half the staff has quit over the past month with no notice. Now after 5 months, I'm the most experienced person who isn't a manager. The company I work for is pretty big, and they're bullshitting everyone about getting promised raises. With only about a year of school left, I'm trying to focus on getting an internship and/or a better job.
In the wasteland, the sly survive and the past and present are one, the sinners rot and the future is the ultimate purgatory

Killmod/Jesse

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1179 on: October 31, 2015, 04:08:00 PM »
Also, at my job about half the staff has quit over the past month with no notice. Now after 5 months, I'm the most experienced person who isn't a manager. The company I work for is pretty big, and they're bullshitting everyone about getting promised raises. With only about a year of school left, I'm trying to focus on getting an internship and/or a better job.

I know that feeling,somehow ending up the veteran member of a group, it's weird. :S

Hope you find a more enjoyable job soon.
The sun beyond the mountain glows
The yellow river seaward flows
You can enjoy a grander sight
By climbing to a greater height

I have run out of places to climb. I will abandon this body and take to the air. We will leave twin vapor trails in the air, white lines etched into these rocks. I am the aerial. In my passing, I will send news to each and every star.

Mrs Brown says: 'Hapiness is an effect, not a goal.'

Charlie is yelling @barit0wned
PC: A spider laid eggs inside my body and I need to get them out before they hatch
DM: You'll need the spider's permission first...

The Hanged Man

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1180 on: October 31, 2015, 04:21:58 PM »
I've been working at my job for two months now, so far I love it. I started off mostly doing admin stuff, copying, typing up timetables and other things that most other people don't have time for. To me, it was a lot of fun, having a clear goal at the end of the day and pretty much went above and beyond the call of duty.

Since then, I've been working with the kids there a few times a week, helping them with homework and such. I honestly didn't think I'd be able to do it but considering that I was able to understand mathematics concepts that stumped me five years ago, without touching it since, in an effective way, I don't think I'm doing too bad at it.  :laugh:

Had a bit of a rocky start with some of the children, they all have ASDs (autism/aspergers syndrome) and even keeping this in mind, some of them can be kind of difficult to talk to or will leave you with a bad taste in your mouth as you walk away, after being undermined for the forth time that day. I am getting there with most of them, you just got to figure out what works and what doesn't, being facetious most of the time helps but some of them don't get humor at all.

I'm getting better at sorting problems out as well, a girl with OCD did her maths homework at one point and decided that she wanted to do it all over again, because she made a small mistake and had to tipex over it. The problem is though that she's days behind on her work, because she's such a perfectionist that it takes her hours to do the most basic of tasks, because it has to be done to frameable standards.

So, I ran her maths homework through the photocopier and presto, no more tipex! :D

Saved her and her poor tutor another hour's worth of maths homework, despite assurances that it wouldn't work.

I've mostly been blowing my wages on video games, capture software and a microphone, since I'm starting a new youtube account. I've done accounts in the past but haven't put much thought or effort into them. I decided to start a small web series, where I talk about some of the games that I find are worth talking about, to keep me busy and to improve my speaking skills, which are somewhat weak.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDLiUD3sBouz62al4bFn8kA

I've had fun with it so far and my friends have been quite supportive and have even helped with production. Done a pilot episode that wasn't perfect, due to software changes and that, mid production but at least the second one will be consistently good/bad. :P

So yeah... That's my life, school monday to friday and shitty games on the weekend as well as some writing on the side. Don't think things have ever been so good, since I feel like I'm finally comfortable with being who I am, at the place where I always wanted to be.
The sun beyond the mountain glows
The yellow river seaward flows
You can enjoy a grander sight
By climbing to a greater height

I have run out of places to climb. I will abandon this body and take to the air. We will leave twin vapor trails in the air, white lines etched into these rocks. I am the aerial. In my passing, I will send news to each and every star.

Mrs Brown says: 'Hapiness is an effect, not a goal.'

Charlie is yelling @barit0wned
PC: A spider laid eggs inside my body and I need to get them out before they hatch
DM: You'll need the spider's permission first...

Pipboy 2000

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1181 on: November 03, 2015, 09:02:47 PM »
I have nothing going on in my life that is at all interesting or worth talking about...

but I wanted to drop in and say hi :)

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1182 on: November 04, 2015, 02:53:09 AM »
Awesomeness.

And by the way, when I saw your 'by-line' in passing, I thought it said "Administrator of Thongs."

Well...  once can always hope.

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AcdQueen89

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1183 on: November 04, 2015, 07:20:12 AM »
With all this talk about Fallout.... is anyone doing NANOWRIMO?
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Pipboy 2000

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Re: What's going on in your life?
« Reply #1184 on: November 04, 2015, 05:27:29 PM »
Awesomeness.

And by the way, when I saw your 'by-line' in passing, I thought it said "Administrator of Thongs."

Well...  once can always hope.

Pipboy2000
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