Heard this one from my Grandma, who heard it from her minister of all people: (It helps if you know a little bit about church denominations.)
Why don't Baptists believe in sex before marriage? Because it leads to dancing.
And another one:
A man named Vinny dies and goes to hell.
The Devil says to him, "Hey Vinny! We've been waitin' for ya! I gotta' ask you a couple questions. Do you like to smoke?"
Vinny answers, "Ya, I love to smoke."
The Devil says "Good; you'll like Mondays! We smoke everything; cigarettes, cigars, weed, everything! Now, do you like to drink?"
Vinny says, "Of course. I love to drink."
The Devil replies, "Great; we drink everything on Tuesdays! You'll fit in great! Do you like to have sex?"
Vinny says, "Heck ya! Sex is the best!"
The Devil smiles and replies, "We have sex with every type of woman you could think of on Wednesdays! Now, are you gay?"
Vinny frowns and answers, "NO, I'm not gay!"
The Devil looks down at the floor for a minute and says, "Man, you are gonna' hate Thursdays..."
