Topics

16

Unwashed Village / The moment the world has been fearing for over 28 years is coming to pass.

« on: October 11, 2008, 03:07:49 PM »

That's right, in around seven months time there will be a little TK taking drawing it's first breath on this earth.  I know it's a shocking thing and a definite portent of doom but I'm really looking forward to being a father.


Not least because I'll have an excuse to buy the wooden train set I've always wanted.

17

Unwashed Village / Caption me!

« on: May 27, 2008, 11:50:39 PM »

Here's a post your pic threads with a difference; take a picture of yourself doing something odd, looking daft or being attacked by squirrels etc. Then have the fevered imaginations of the village caption the picture.  Me first!

18

Unwashed Village / quick ink sketch.

« on: April 22, 2008, 10:42:38 PM »

that's my hand held in a weird way, almost a semi-claw.

19

Unwashed Village / been sketching again

« on: April 19, 2008, 12:26:51 AM »

I played with it on the computer a little, I'd drawn it a little too narrow so I stretched it

20

Unwashed Village / Blitz survivor has sight restored

« on: April 07, 2008, 11:06:43 PM »

Cool story

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7333239.stm

21

Unwashed Village / Story fragment *warning, bad words*

« on: April 02, 2008, 01:58:40 AM »

“Don’t you ever stop to wonder how many dreams you’ve let fade or how much love you’ve let bleed out?”
John; he’s a whiny bastard but his hearts all there, it’s in the right place so I love him for it, he’s funny and we’ve been mates since we were wee.
“Honestly dude I’m pissed, there’s two of you and I don’t think either of you are making any sense but you’re both bringing me down; shut the fuck up”
“Ok, sorry, sorry…. Oh shit! Sorry!... It’s not broken is it?
My fucking phone you cow-handed bastard!
“Fuck! bast…” calm down! “probably not” it’s just a bloody phone you daft looking, oddly lovable buffoon, I’m calm; no need to dish out the dinner plates “I’ve spilt on it a few times myself”
I’m calm but I’m not a charity; “You can get tae fuck if you think I’m buying you another beer though, it was my round last”
“Ok, ok, I’m heading to the bar, you want crisps or anything?”  I smile a wry one at Kate and roll my eyes at an oblivious John while she smiles away the third pint that night with her cloth.  Lovely lassie but Johns ex so a total no go, she loved/loves(?) the man but he’s a beautiful shambles of sweet meanings, forgotten birthdays and tragic brewers droop.
“Oh, hey, Kate, sorry second time” Hands wring, voice cracks, scrotum tightens and feet shuffle.
“Third” such a pretty smile!
“Yeah sorry”
“Just quit it ok? I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose” a half wish, I can almost see her bite her lip and wish that he’d grow up and stop making an arse of himself.
John just grins that schoolyard kind of ‘special’ and counts the folds, seven! It’s almost like the North Sea.  Kate wanders off, more spills, more eyes and more, less genuine, smiles to give to the ones drinking more of her than their beers.
John really is a moron.
“You want crisps then?”
“Yeah sorry, scampi fries… get a shot too; if I’m going to listen to your faded dreams and wounded heart I’m best to be shit-faced”
“What?! I said crisps and I’m getting a beer for myself now you wa…” Another fold, money is involved, it’s definitely the north sea this time.
“Aye your bloody round!, Jesus what did I say five minutes ago?”
“Yeah, right, right, did you see where I put my wallet?” cow-hands pat every inch while the dinner plates ignore the notes cowering in the wallet inside the chair-slung jacket.  Flustered-as-fuck, that’s John at round time and I wouldn’t have him any other way.

Typical Friday night then, Johns as pissed as the wee, old quiet man in the corner while I sit there and humour the belly-aching of his poor, wounded, tragically undersexed little heart.  I say humour but what I do is rictus at the bastard while he lays mine out in front of me.  So, any way; introductions, I’m Fotis – fucking hippy parents, I’m the light of their life etc. blah, blah, bleh, eww and such… - I tell you! pot has a lot to answer for, actually come to think of it pot has a shit load of ‘splainin to do.  Luckily though my surname is James so most people call me that or Fotty (pretty as a picture, hah! Fucking right!) or Iss, I like Iss but most people just call me James and I’d feel like an arse asking them to call me Iss, you know what I mean?


I'm not too sure where it's all going but it's either a short story or a build up something more sustantial.

22

Unwashed Village / Another thing

« on: March 25, 2008, 12:52:53 AM »

Personal elusion, seeking the
What?
Touch? Feel? Word? Look?
All of the above!
With the strength to hold
and the words to sooth.

It's not the act but.. but!
rather the intent!
And! (lets not forget)
The power to move!
The will to transport
To protect, to cradle
To… to really know!
To melt and fold
To shape and bend.

One thing, two beats
But where?
In you in me?
In us?
In time?
We'll know, I'm sure
You'll tell me?
I'll tell you?
Till then
The touch, the feel, the word, the look
With the strength, the will, the heart
Keep looking? Keep looking!
You'll find em

23

Unwashed Village / Odd workmates

« on: February 27, 2008, 12:22:53 AM »

We all almost all have them *nods at owl* and like to poke fun at them but feel slightly guilty when we do so lets list them.  I worked in a place in Glasgow with three stand out freaks, I'm not counting the guy who looked like jesus but went out with a dominatrix or the film extra who came into work in plaid one day because they were cool and they're my friends. What I'm talikng about are those with real deep-seated quirks.

We had one guy who took everything too seriously and was incredibly boastful but essentially useless in a work and personality sense, he was also a little overweight and loved the goonies so the inevitable 'truffle-shuffle' jibes were lightly thrown.  He decided to come in to office with a goonies T-shirt one day and the resulting hilarity had him loging complaints about us to the man and solitary woman.  He honestly didn't get what was funny.  He also spills his drinks down himself after three drinks and is generally edged away from by his friends when he comes into the pub to tell them for the hundreth time that he had both legs broken by a car but still made it to T in the park to stand in the mud for three days.  His mum also laughed hysterically for a good 30 seconds down the phone when he told her about his 'bad treatment' at work.  He looked like meatloaf.

Here's a twist, I'll tell you what I'm like at work.

I do my best work either for myself or when I feel like it/have been threatened with the sack, I'm like a parrot on crack at times and I say odd things in an attempt to make the student laugh.  Other times I don't talk much and stare into space drinking my tea.  I spend vast swathes of my day surfing the internet or playing with things like bootable pendrives and novel windows deployment systems based on pendrives that I get bored with or focus on to the point of abstraction.  I write batch files obsessively so I can automate mundane tasks which take as long to work out than the amount of time they'd save during the task.  My desk is a mess and I'm generally grumpy.
 

24

Unwashed Village / Quickfire and rough

« on: February 19, 2008, 02:58:57 AM »

Shine.

That first blemish on new shoes
crest falls at first sight
smug in the theft of shine
time escorts the wear
beneath my notice.
Less than a worry.
A pointless thorn.

You'll give the winds
the earth, the sea,
the sun, the stars
but it's breath
and tears, empty,
empty blue glow
and your light far off.

Just that nick.
A scuff.
Mark on beauty.
Unconscious blemish.
Heedless score you drew.
Destroys the whole.

25

Unwashed Village / If Nak were english

« on: February 18, 2008, 11:21:10 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX-UNBjW_38

26

Unwashed Village / Global warning / Climate change all bunk in my book

« on: February 18, 2008, 12:27:01 PM »

First off I'm not entirely convinced that mankind is destroying the planet with emissions etc but that's not really what I want to debate.

I just question why we need to be force-fed a dubious line on global warming instead of telling people that we're managing to destroy habitat and generally creating a smelly and unpleasant to live in that's losing a vast amount of diversity.  I'm all for clean energy sources and conservation because it's a really good idea in terms of improving quality of life, less carcinogens in the air would have a marked impact on general health that would have a far more quantifiable and scientifically measuarble impact than scrabbling around trying to prove that we're destroying the environment.

It's much easier to guage the health of a populace and the impact emissions have on it because of the relatively miniscule sample you would need to take in comparison to the billions of years old earth which has systems in place so complex that we barely understand them let alone the net effect of them all acting together.  I believe that the foundations of the debate are totally undermined because of the necessarily tiny sample we have regarding the way the world works

I really do weep for all the awful things humanity has done in the search for resource, we've made large tracts of the earth uninhabitable and destryoed entire species while making ourselves sick, that's the real cost of the scrabble for resource, if we sorted that out and kept the actual cost in mind we wouldn't need to worry about the climate changing.  If we are changing it a more considered approach to the world we live in would mean that we wouldn't have a need to look at a percieved effect which is way down the list of consequences for the way that we treat the planet and the life on it.  We really are looking far too far down the continum for our 'problem to fix' when we consider our affect on the planet.

I say humanise the drive towards conservation and clean energy, driven by actual proveable science instead of this personality driven, scare mongering, pseudo-science the media and corporate backed politicians and personalities are trying to ram down our throat. 

I just feel that the debate totally blinds us to the real issues that the climate change crowd are adopting to prove thier pet theory.

I wouldn't entirely exclude the fact that we're changing the environment; it's a vast system that we have to have some effect on but the focus on climate change really does remove us from the issues that should be emotive like where the tigers are going and how much species we have decimated with deforestation and how bad the seas are because of drilling waste etc and just how nasty it can be to walk through a large city at rush hour.

27

Unwashed Village / A joke in the style of Chaucer

« on: February 11, 2008, 11:00:36 PM »

Bill Bailley is an absolute legend, he almost killed me once when I saw him live; I had the flu and I just couldn't stop laughing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qod7nSGKag0

28

Unwashed Village / work or home

« on: February 10, 2008, 03:13:49 AM »

Ok this thread is here to see if work is better than home or otherwise, I'll start

My office is air conditioned
v.s
I live in Scotland, my flat is either 'hot' or 'hypothermia'

Pixies remove my rubbish
v.s
when that last carton won't fit in the bin I need to take the thing down, it stinks and it may split open on the stairs.

I trip over things, I can shout at someone.
v.s
I trip, hurt myself and spend a week off work, I watch Phil and Fern for a week, and I lose my will to live, I miss work because I'm bored.

I need to work.
v.s
I can play games and do whatever I like till I fall asleep.


Home wins hands down, what do you think?

29

Unwashed Village / Tea

« on: February 09, 2008, 11:25:31 PM »

Which teas do the members of the village favour?

I'm pretty much exclusively an Earl Grey man but I'll accept Tetley if I'm at someones house, the other 'everyday' teas taste like evil.

I don't want you coffee swilling hooligans coming in here, stamping on our china and bellowing about 'coffee superior, tea inferior' (bonus points if you can guess the oblique reference) your poison of choice has it's place in my hot beverage intake too.

30

Unwashed Village / What comics are you all reading?

« on: February 09, 2008, 01:51:19 AM »

I don't think we've had one of these for a while, here's my list:

Printed:
2000ad
Detective comics
Boneyard
Barry ween
Transformers (when there's a new series out)

Online:
post-nuke
Gone with the blaswave (when it's updated)
Nodwick (falls into printed as well but I've not picked them up for a while)

I'm also trying to get back into ps238 but I lost the tread of it a while back