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Thanks folks, just noticed I said the kidney cancer is muscle invasive, it's not I meant to say that the bladder cancer was muscle invasive. 

There's no sign of regrown in my bladder after Chemo so I'm all set for radiotherapy in the next few weeks then at some point my kidney needs to come out. Chemo was a bit rough, mainly because my veins got harder to find as the treatment progressed.

Still alive and making positive progress 

I'm probably really just posting to nobody at this point but it's strangely comforting to post this here to a community that was so important to me for a long time.

Turns out that I have cancer, muscle invasive in my Kidney and a 9cm mass in my Bladder, both most likely primaries and neither metastatic. The bladder one has been removed but there's a high chance of recurrence.  I'll have Chemo and if my bladder responds well Radio therapy and chemo as a combined treatment with my kidney being removed at some point. All pretty uncertain but at least things are being done.

I had to pick my expectations up from the floor, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Bluecross! Welcome back, all the irradiated dirt monsters living in the vestibule can shut up about being the oldest thing around here again.

I feel that "new year" was a bit too optimistic last year. This year needs to earn any kind of positive recognition.

It's probably obvious but this guy is a different TK from me, I'm not prone to homophobic rants.

Interesting to know if he's been around for a while and if he's ever been a UV inmate.

Not committing to any superlatives this year at all.

Necro-threading! Maybe we can raise the forum from the dead by replying to all the old stuff, plus it makes us seem like wise old Ents who take a long time to form responses.  People will be eager to see what wisdom we have to impart.... then... fart jokes! they'll be hooked, genius!

I think it would be:

Mother: As a parent myself I can't reconcile how your actions put me in harms way against your assertion that you had no idea what was happening, what the hell were you thinking?

Dad: Where were you? I can count the days I've spent with you on one hand, can you tell me why and who you were?

I grew apart from my mother when I noticed a growing disparity in how I approach being a parent and the things that happened in my childhood, she was emotionally abusive in her own right and, from the perspective of being an adult with three children, so neglectful in a very focussed way that she allowed life altering things to happen to me I'd never imagine a reasonable person would allow.  I genuinely border on thinking she had full knowledge and either allowed it to perpetuate because of the natural benefit or because she gained direct benefit from it.  She tried to stick herself too far in to the running of my own family so I've not spoken to her for nearly 10 years apart from when she called to tell me of a death in the family and tried to use that as a means to get back in to our live.

My father is Mr radio silence, I remember a handful of days with him when I was younger, he split from my mother before I was born, made an effort to see me born then had a very arms length relationship with me, found me moderately interesting when I got old enough to drink, made an appearance at my wedding then soon after had a tantrum when he couldn't come on a particular Sunday, that was soon after the wedding and I've been married 11 years and I have occasionally tried to reach out to him but... nothing.

I'm occasionally struck with sorrow for myself and that fact that my children don't have grandparents but I genuinely think they're better out of our lives but I'd still wish them well and hope that they find peace from whatever made them deeply flawed individuals.

I'm clinging on to the last few months of being 40, my children are 11,9 and 7.  I realised yesterday that my mother was a grandparent by this age through both of my older brothers.  A good few of my classmates have children planning their own weddings some have grandchildren.  This all seems barely credible and I often make a silent humble request of the world to just stop for a bit, give us sunshine and a month of Sunday's so we can just breath but life seems to move fastest when you're standing still.

Long time, no post!

The post man! We thought you had it.

Did you bring it back? We've had nothing to tie the horses to, they just drag the tangerines around when we hitch them to those.

You guys just had to say that....

The situation is horrible for so many and we have been touched by it on my wife's side but I'm mostly living the dream just now, I don't need to travel further the living room to get to work, I live in one of the best paces for fresh food in Scotland and people are happy to deliver anything from Buffalo to Fruit and veg then to Lobster.  This situation is actually looking to be where my job is heading, Marie wants to go back to Uni to take a midwifery course but schools are likely to go back two days a week with three days of home schooling so this working pattern would be perfect for us. 

FO79 being playable might help sate some of the very slight social yearnings I have, my generation and the ones that came after are probably the best suited for this isolated life, I think I could still sink a few days in to CivII.

Just thought I'd get in and say it sometime before April, glad I beat the rush. 

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and new year!