Unwashed Village
General Discussion => Unwashed Village => Topic started by: BlueCross on May 08, 2013, 06:23:54 PM
-
While I find the "Add Three Words" thread both intriguing and clever, I also find it rather like trying to open a door while wearing a strait-jacket. Too often a poster really does nothing but add filler and is unable to forward a particular path. Of course, perhaps that is the challenge, and perhaps ultimately it does provide a higher reader 'reward' to those who are able to muck their way through it.
I certainly do not want to denigrate or usurp the "Add Three Words" thread but I thought perhaps we could start yet another but this time, each poster would add an entire sentence. There also seems to be an unlisted rule that no poster may post their three words (or in this case, sentence) until at least two or three other posters have also chirped in.
At any rate, I will start...
-
Martin Preiss had been walking up the narrow rocky path for hours, yet there was still no sign of the cabin.
-
I agree, I have seen several results but mostly the "add three words" thing usually ends with an incoherent plot of randomness. (I think that's how they write the Scary Movie films.) I did have one good result which told of an epic civil war between two monarchs, the crab queen and the crab king.
He stopped to check his map, scratching his head before carrying on, he felt like he was going in circles.
-
As the sun began to set and Martin could see the stars he realized that he had been traveling North, the cabin was supposed to be in the East
-
Hindsight being 20/20 and all, Martin cursed himself and vowed that next time he'd bring a GPS, or at least a compass.
-
He finally decided that he would rest where he was and wait for daylight when he heard the faint noise, not so much a cry as a low and long wail.
-
As he looked out into the dark he saw.. could it be? Was that a mormon being hunted by a mormon hunter? Clearly these were escapees from some more constrictive regime.
No but seriously.
He knew this was bear country so he froze barely, allowing his breath to escape in a thin stream into the cold night, as he listened he thought he could pick up words in the cry.
-
Suddenly a mysterious figure emerged from a cave to his right, it was tall and bulky and it stood on two legs, it was a bear!
-
He shuddered as the hulking shape swallowed loudly, "sorry, speaking with my mouth full, put this on! You'll catch your death out here" said the shape as it flung a thick coat at him.
-
Sheepishly, Martin took the coat, ensuring that he made eye contact with the bear at all times.
-
"Druid said it's supposed to rain tonight. I've got shelter," the bear gestured into the darkness.
-
The bear removed his AK-47 guaranteed him by the constitutional right to arm bears, and expostulated "So, are you coming in, or what?"
-
Martin wasn't sure as to whether or not this was a good idea, after all his mother told him to never trust strangers, though the cold was getting to him and this bear didn't seem untrustworthy.
-
"Give me the gun and I'll follow you," Martin quickly decided as his teeth started to chatter.
-
"Can't!" The bear protested "It has sentimental value."
-
"It was my mother's gun", said the bear, "and I couldn't bear to part with it!".
-
"It was my mother's gun", said the bear, "and I couldn't bear to part with it!".
"It's a 1886 Kodiak rifle!" The bear said, proudly.
-
Realizing that the bear was completely distracted by his own thoughts, Martin surreptitiously reached into his pack and grabbed what he thought was his Finnish Järvenpää skinning knife.
-
As he pulled the knife out of its shieth Martin realized it was really his girlfriend's fragile ceramic parring knife.
-
After another clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, Martin had made up his mind, he would have to trust this bear to lead him to safety.
-
Martin felt crippled by the rare condition meaning that he could only make important decisions in the presence of extreme weather, he was reflecting on the cool dry summer when he almost died of starvation after being introduced to the moral ambiguity of meat when the tunnel opened up.
-
"So , are you coming or what?", the bear said , gesturing with his paw, and sweetening the pot by adding "I've got salmon".
-
Martin couldn't resist an offer as tempting as salmon, he would venture into this cave, consiquences be damned!
-
He stepped into the cave the smell of cooking fish was thik in the air.
-
Soon Martin found himself eating the salmon, he savored every bite as if it were his last.
-
And as it turns out...
-
...it was, because the bear was now fresh out of salmon.
-
"Dessert, I have a pie in the fridge?" The bear asked
-
BANG! Martin hears as slavers rush in guns leveled to their heads.
-
"Careful!" The slaver leader called back to his people, "those bullets are expensive you know!"
-
"Damn your bullets, I want my pie!" The bear cried.
-
"There he is!", cried the leader, as it turns out that they were BEAR slavers!
-
"He's big probly worth 800" Shouted another slaver
-
Fus Ro Dah! yelled the bear, turns out the bear was Dovah bear the ancient worrior who could harness the thu'um.
-
"Faas Suleyk Se Dovah Kodaav!" The bear shouted in his dragon tongue.
-
The slaver dart out of the way of the blast, shooting the bear in the process.
-
Then all of a sudden everyone stops shouting and shooting, the smoke clears to reveal Dr. Hacks.
-
"Omigod! It's... it's... YOU!"
-
"What is all this fuss about?!" Doctor Hacks called out, examining the area around him.
-
"Uh, well, there's this bear, you see," started the unfortunate impromptu spokesman for the slavers.
-
The bear clutched his 'flesh wound' and grunted, "These people walked into my home and attacked me, They didn't even knock first!"
-
Then heavy pops up out of nowhere and yells "HACKS" and a computer launches towards Dr. Hacks.
-
(DOCTOR HAX DAMMIT! :P)
Dr Hacks flips back, allowing the computer to fly over his head and hit one of the slavers.
-
"Full ahead both, and damn the torpedoes", Dr. Hackenbush said.
-
Engineer slowly walks in and starts erectin a river. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HjLN1TA3bc
-
Martin comes out of his daze not knowing what to do.