After hard labor in my workhovel, I am proud to present the latest advance in highly ironic disruptive technology. As usual, I am a Genius *pause for effect*. Now, most cool people know when something is cool, but it often doesn't remain cool over time. In fact, coolness seems to exhibit a number of properties similar to radiation in that over time certain things stay cool while other's degrade and become not cool. The key breakthrough in my research on the subject has been in the startling realization that coolness is not in fact determined by a single atomic particle or wave, but is an event similar to radiation where a number of elementary particles and waves are emitted. I would therefore like to formally announce the discovery of the "Pretention" an elementary particle that conforms to wave particle duality. Current high energy research at my workhovel seems to indicate that the coolness "event" produces two "Hipion" particles to every "Pretention." And this key breakthrough has finally allowed for accurate measurement of how cool and ironic you jaded cool people really are. I call it the "Pretentiometer", a device for measuring the presence of the Pretention particles and their corresponding impossible to measure Hipions. The derived unit of measure would be Hipion/Pretention giving us a derived unit, I call the "Bono" for obvious reasons. I am available to take questions.
