Unwashed Village
General Discussion => Unwashed Village => Topic started by: Doombot on October 01, 2007, 08:46:57 PM
-
Take a movie, change a element, decision or whatever to 'ruin' the movie.
Example:
INTERIOR: IMPERIAL STARDESTROYER.
On the main viewscreen, the lifepod carrying the two terrified
robots speeds away from the stricken Rebel spacecraft.
CHIEF PILOT: There goes another one.
CAPTAIN: Hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have been
short-circuited. On second thought. Shoot it down. Just it case.
EXTERIOR: LIFEPOD CARRYING R2-D2 and C3PO explodes.
-
Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.
*Goldfinger leaves Bond to die in spite of Bond's attempts at convincing Auric that British Intelligence already knows about operation Grand Slam, essentially calling his bluff. Pussy Galore is never talked out of poison gassing Fort Knox. Auric robs Ft. Knox blind and SPECTRE now free of their biggest thorn holds the entire world hostage with nuclear missiles. Auric with his new-found wealth signs on with SPECTRE and quickly rises to the ranks of #2. (With no doubt designs on #1.)*
I more than ruined the movie, I ruined the entire series.
-
Ernest decides not to go to camp.
-
Ruin a movie? Don't you mean "end it like they were smart"?
To really ruin a movie, take a movie.
Any movie. At all.
Find a scene where someone is looking fondly at a friend, loved one, whatever. You know, the kind with the long medium shot or panning zoom or something.
Then have their head explode due to a sniper bullet.
Movie ruined :P
-
Ernest decides not to go to camp.
Or even better, at the end, Ernest does get shot.
"I guess Mystical Indian power didn't save him!"
Thanks Batman, move along. :P
-
make. movies. not. predictable.
-
"Gone with the wind"
Gee, I didn't even have to do anything.
-
"Gone with the wind"
Is it a Horror Flick?
-
Louis Creed: "What if I bury my son in the Pet Semetery?"
Jud Crandall: "We did that once. Back in the 40's. We had to burn the house to get rid of the monster that come out of the ground." "Uyah... don't forget how my ah dog and your cat became evil!"
Louis Creed "You're right. I won't do it then. Better to lose my son than have him come back as a monster."
The End
-
The kid who got toxic waste in his eyes dies of cancer instead of becoming daredevil.
Best 20 minutes ever.
-
Indy grabs the little golden idol and activates the temple's "self-destruct" mechanism.
He turns to run and accidentally steps on several raised plates and gets hit with poison darts.
Delirious, he runs for the temple entrance when he hears a noise and turns to see a giant boulder rolling towards him.
Just then he loses conciousness from the poison.
The next shot is the exterior of the temple shuddering and belching out dust while Belach and his natives glance around perplexedly.
Roll credits.
(Sallah and Marcus have to try to get the Ark by themselves. They die horribly.)
-
Neo takes the green pill.
-
The Terminator works his way from the back of the phonebook to the front.
-
The crew of the Nostromo decides answering a distress signal from an unknown planet is too risky.
-
Tony and Manny decide to keep being dishwashers rather than get mixed up with coke.
-
Spence is quickly apprehended while trying to rob and sabotage the Hive.
-
A little boy named Jason dies when he's twelve years old while swimming. He stays that way.
-
A young Vito Corleone is refused entry to America.
He returns to Sicily, joining the priesthood.
-
Animal Rights Activist: "You know what? Let's get real jobs instead of letting those experimental rage-monkeys free..."
Ash decides that the Necronomicon is "too boring" and uses it for kindling.
King Leonidas loses his voice from shouting "SPARTAAAAAA!!!!" all the time and decides to stay home.
and so on.
-
"I wanna GO SEE A MOVIE!!!"
The Wayne's decide to stop indulging their spoiled rich kid son and send him to his room. The movie follows Bruce for the next thirty years as he squanders the movie (and his money).
The movie ends in a twist of irony with him stealing pearls off some movie goer to pay for his drug habit.
-
A young Steve Rogers doesn't want anything to do with Super Soldier Serum as he's joined the Nazi party and moves to Germany. Unfortunately at that point they realize he's gay and it's off to the concentration camps for him.
-
Neo takes the green pill.
The pill was blue, not green.
Isuldur throws the ring into mount Doom after the army of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men defeat Sauron and his forces.
-
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.
-
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.
Cheater! That references the Silmarillion of which no movie has ever been made.
-
Harry falls off his broom and breaks his neck during a Quiddich match.
-
Beverly Hills Cop -
Detective Foley has already spent all of his vacation time.
-
Ted Striker crashes his plane and never gets over Macho Grande.
-
The Dread Pirate Roberts really does kill Wesley in the morning.
-
Melkor decided to play in harmony with the rest of the Ainur thus avoiding war in the heavens and on the earth.
Cheater! That references the Silmarillion of which no movie has ever been made.
I'm not cheating merely being creative, I've ruined five existing films and one in production by undermining the backstory.
How about these?
Bastian runs right past the bookshop
Peter parker is fatally allergic to spider venom
Buttercup makes the first move on Westley and they move to Australia OR Columbo brings along a book of scripts from the show, it becomes a film about the first case of abuse through predictable storylines
Krypton implodes seconds before Jor-El launches the pod
-
Jake Elwood loves Illinois nazis
-
Beatrix dies on her last mission
-
Girl decides not to go skinnydipping, Great White moves on to better feeding grounds
-
A little boy named Jason dies when he's twelve years old while swimming. He stays that way.
Or
A little boy named Jason falls into a lake and starts to drown - the teen councilor at camp sees him in trouble so jumps in to save him, she brings him to shore and all is well. His mother hears about this later, she is so happy that she brings cupcakes to parents night and all ends well.
-
A little boy named Jason dies when he's twelve years old while swimming. He stays that way.
Or
A little boy named Jason falls into a lake and starts to drown - the teen councilor at camp sees him in trouble so jumps in to save him, she brings him to shore and all is well. His mother hears about this later, she is so happy that she brings cupcakes to parents night and all ends well.
Pamela Vorhee's (Jasons mother) is actress Betsy Palmer. Met her 2 weeks at Screamfest 2007. She turns 81 next month. Wonderful lady!
-
She's looking good for 81. You get to meet tons of people at these things - closest I've ever been to meeting an actor was a wax museum I went to once.
-
Kid dies in Pod race.
There I ruined 6 movies!
-
Kid dies in Pod race.
There I ruined 6 movies!
You mean... saved 3 movies.
"Excitement at the Pod Races today when a annoy kid crashed into a cliffside. Anakin Skywelker and not Skywalker as originally reported. Anakin Skywalker is of course the leader of a local gang of toughs who've been terrorizing the area."
-
the government isnt corrupt.
i'm sure that can cover alot.
-
the government isnt corrupt.
i'm sure that can cover alot.
Any movie like that would naturally suck because most movies, even great ones, require some suspension of disbelief. However, that pushes suspension of disbelief beyond human limits.
-
"This boy will bring balance to the Force."
"Oh, really?"
=lightsaber ignites and cuts the child down=
"What the...?!"
"Uhh, hello? Two Sith, THOUSANDS of Jedi. You do the math."
-
"When this baby hit 102 miles per hour... you're going to see some serious ****"
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
-
Dante's phone is disconnected so he doesn't know he's supposed to be there today.
-
The villain decides that shooting Bond in the face will save power, based on a rather overpriced electric bill that month.
The Kryptonian counsel decides to hear Jor-El out and actually find a way to avert the crisis.
-
so.... did anyone actually win teh contest?
-
so.... did anyone actually win teh contest?
Uh... it's one of those New Age contests where you win by participating and looking into yourself for the answer.
So ask yourself. Did you win?
-
i wanted a cookie
-
"I look after my kids."
"You're supposed to, ya dumbass!"
"I ain't never been to jail."
"What do you want, a cookie?!"
-
"When this baby hit 102 miles per hour... you're going to see some serious ****"
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
Actually, he'd be fine since it took 88 MPH to activate the time jump.
-
"When this baby hit 102 miles per hour... you're going to see some serious ****"
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
Actually, he'd be fine since it took 88 MPH to activate the time jump.
I think that was the whole point
-
"When this baby hit 102 miles per hour... you're going to see some serious ****"
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
Actually, he'd be fine since it took 88 MPH to activate the time jump.
You're not thinking 4th dimensionally Hoopy. Doc picked 102 instead of 88 to activate the time jump. Since Marty never got to 102, he never traveled in time to avoid the photo booth.
-
hahahhaha this is a great thread!
black mamba brings a gun to her own wedding and kills bill before he can shoot her.
when the monkey presents simba to the pridelands, he accidentally drops him.
the dude doesn't like the rug that got peed on, so he just throws it away.
-
The Transporter drives into a brick wall and spends the next 8 weeks in traction.
-
The Horse Whisperer talks to Mr. Ed who gets severely pissed and kicks him in the larynx.
-
"I better not spend too much time in the magic store. Someone might steal mahhhh bike. Heeah haa."
-
"Tragedy in Smallville was discovered as the remains of Martha and Johnathan Kent were found after their truck was damaged by a nearby meteorite."
-
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
:laugh:
I'm so stealing that for a video.
-
Marty doesn't have time to accelerate to 102 miles per hour and hits the photo booth at 99 miles per hour.
:laugh:
I'm so stealing that for a video.
That could be a nice video series. Ruin a movie. =)
-
The Dread Pirate Roberts really does kill Wesley in the morning.
Kiwi, this made me laugh SO HARD. I don't think you got enough points for this post. +1000.
-
I aim to please, Mrs. Fish :D
-
Terminator franchise -
Skynet ran on Windows and got a BSOD upon attempting to fire the missles
-
A young Steve Rogers doesn't want anything to do with Super Soldier Serum as he's joined the Nazi party and moves to Germany. Unfortunately at that point they realize he's gay and it's off to the concentration camps for him.
BTW, I went back and read this and was like....? It seems rather harsh. I must have been having a bad day or something. :stunned:
-
The brave crew of the Nostromo decide that responding to an unknown distress call on an unknown planet is too risky, and plot course back to earth
-
Doc: "Fifty years of sports statistics. Hardly recreational reading material, Marty."
Marty: "Well, hey, Doc, what's the harm in bringing back a little info on the future? Maybe we could place a couple of bets."
Doc: "Marty! I didn't invent the time machine for financial gain. The intent here is to gain a clearer perception of humanity: where we've been, where we're going, the pitfalls, the possibilities, the perils and the promise. Perhaps even an answer to that universal question: why?"
Marty: "Hey, Doc, if we use the almanac we can use that money to set up think tanks, hospitals, donate to charites and help humanity with our winnings to say nothing of playing the stock market"
Doc: *bug eyed look* "Great Scott! You're right!"
Cut to just outside the Brown / McFly Institute for the Betterment of Humanity Building.
-
The brave crew of the Nostromo decide that responding to an unknown distress call on an unknown planet is too risky, and plot course back to earth
Hmm, that's eerily similar to ANOTHER POST in the SAME THREAD, including SENTENCE STRUCTURE and WORD CHOICE.
The crew of the Nostromo decides answering a distress signal from an unknown planet is too risky.
The only original contribution is the addition of plotting a course back to earth, which anyone who's a real fan of the movie could tell you is redundant because that was where they were already headed when they received the distress signal.
Up until this moment, I was unaware that I could be flattered AND insulted simultaneously. Your plagiarism has shown me otherwise.
If you wish to reclaim your honor, you must cut off your little finger.
-
Cut to just outside the Brown / McFly Institute for the Betterment of Humanity Building.
As hilarious as that is, the caveman (super villain?) part of my brain would rather see Marty hit the photo booth at 99 miles an hour.
(Personally I'd just be happy if someone explained how Doc Brown wound up as that crazy, naked, hammer-wielding dude in the attic in Quarantine (http://photos.almosthuman.net/albums/userpics/10001/normal_THINMANHERO1_copy.jpg). NOW THAT'S BACK TO THE FUTURE 4!)
EDIT: Yes, I know it was really Doug "Gollum" Jones.
-
The man in Room 5 isn't immune to the Saint Mary's/Three Waters virus.
Mikey's dad keeps up on his mortgage payments.
Ferris, Sloan, and Cameron all plan to attend the same college.
Finch, Jim, and Kevin all lost their virginity during their freshman year of high school.
Arnie decides to buy a car from a reputable used car dealer rather than the rusty '58 Plymouth Fury from the sketchy old man he just met.
Outside of its carefully controlled artificial ecosystem, the escaped genetically modified spider dies some time in the night. Its body is unwitting stepped on by a nerdy photographer from a high school class visiting the labs the next day.
Andy McDermott and his friends decide that going to the rave hosted by the sketchy Frenchman they just met is a bad idea.
The Enterprise-B's warp drive and tractor beam arrive ahead of schedule and are fully installed and operational in time for its maiden voyage.
Captain Smith berates Mr. Ismay for suggesting they increase speed for the sake of some headlines when there are so many innocent people aboard.
The Harkonnens are asked to manage spice trade on Arrakis.
A young German couple immigrates to America in 1924. They have a son named Erik who grows up to be a historical leader in the Civil Rights Movement, calling for all people to coexist peacefully. Mr. & Mrs. Lehnsherr are very proud of their son and die at a ripe old age.
Angela and Scott aren't fast enough to catch the firetruck headed to the medical disturbance call. They catch the next one and get some footage of a fairly large house fire. The Nightshift is renewed for another season.
The kegs arrive several hours after Kevin Pickford's parents have left on their trip.
Larry and Richard discover an unconscious Bernie on the floor, and quickly call him an ambulance. After lingering in a coma for several weeks, he finally regains consciousness only to find out he's been charged with insurance fraud in absentia.
Paulie Bleeker wears a condom.
-
marlin is too scared to leave the reef. nemo dies an honorable death at the hands of a 6 year old.
-
Mr. Darcy isn't prejudiced so he has no qualms about immediately asking Ms. Elizabeth to marry him. Thus the movie is approximately 5 minutes long.
-
Doh... (I just saw that movie Saturday)
Forrest becomes impatient waiting for the bus and decides to tell a person on the bench which street he is going. They mention that it is just down the block. He goes and meets Jenny (and his son).
The End. And no, it has not been referenced thusfar.
-
The clock Mr. Gateau designs for the train station runs forward.
-
IT'S ALIIIIIV..... oh, wait.
-
IT'S ALIIIIIV..... oh, wait.
:laugh:
-
Westley really does get killed in the morning.
-
The Dread Pirate Roberts really does kill Wesley in the morning.
Westley really does get killed in the morning.
Come on guys, the thread's not THAT long yet! Okay Hoopy, you know the rules; just like the Yakuza, you've brought dishonor to the house and must chop off your little finger to reclaim it. Get in line behind Killmod.
-
French apartment buildings were built with much stronger floors during the Bohemian revolution so the narcoleptic Brazilian doesn't fall quite as far.
And to ruin a whole bunch of movies: Adam Sandler doesn't get dumped by his girlfriend.
-
IT'S ALIIIIIV..... oh, wait.
Short but sweet!
-
Ruin a future movie!
The Comedian throws his attacker out his window.
-
All that nasty stuff with the corporate buyouts and evictions turned out to be a joke, and Jake Fratelli does a tour around the prisons.
-
Godzilla cuts up his feet on the first building he steps on, starts crying, and runs into the mountains never to be seen again.