Author Topic: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?  (Read 13154 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2009, 06:06:21 PM »
Is their some part of the social contract that I'm not adhering to; or is it the other way around? Part of me hates this because I have this hardwired distrust of anyone who approaches me for anything in downtown Seattle, mainly because I HATE downtown Seattle for reasons that could fill a whole new discussion topic, but let's just leave it at this: Whenever a stranger starts talking to me, they are UP TO SOMETHING until proven otherwise, and usually they aren't proven otherwise. So my inclination when someone starts blathering is to say "Let's just fast-forward to the part where you ask me for change and I say no and get on with our lives.", but I'm not that evil. It's all internal.

There's something wrong with you.  Why do you live in or near Seattle if you hate it?  You ain't got no wife or kids or mortgage!  The world is your oyster!
I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

AcdQueen89

  • Unwashed Villager
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2009, 06:21:07 PM »
There's something wrong with you.  Why do you live in or near Seattle if you hate it?  You ain't got no wife or kids or mortgage!  The world is your oyster!

oysters are disgusting.
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2009, 06:39:40 PM »
uhm

hum

I mean, I kinda don't think they are.  I don't think they're that good, but I dated a Russian girl, and she made me eat some raw, and I was like, meh?  That was kinda fun!  It makes you feel like an adventurer!

Man, you're negative lately, CJ!
I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

AcdQueen89

  • Unwashed Villager
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2009, 06:47:49 PM »
who the fuck is cj
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2009, 07:01:41 PM »
Some other negative girl, now that I think about it!

Not gonna feel too bad about it though, it's tough to relate to downers
I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

AcdQueen89

  • Unwashed Villager
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2009, 07:06:39 PM »
i will be honest. i am taking a breakup out on your right now.
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2009, 07:13:25 PM »
hahah, no worries girl, sorry I planted the wrong initials on you!

if it makes you feel any better, I couldn't remember linnea's name the whole time we were smooching, I'm basically just a big ole dumbass

So what's up with your breakup, dudette, is it hard but for the best, or is it massive shenanigans

inquiring minds want to know
I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

AcdQueen89

  • Unwashed Villager
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2009, 07:18:45 PM »
it's a for the best thing. i'm pretty sure we can pull off the friends thing, but we'll see what christmas brings (next time i'll see him)

the hardest part is that it's been almost three years. i'm almost at the point to wish i could pull off drunk rebound sex just to forget about it for a while.
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2009, 07:31:37 PM »
I can't really relate, when Christine and I broke up almost a year ago we'd been together for three and a half years, and I didn't have too many problems doing the nasty with the next girl I was infatuated with.  I'm easy, though, I fall in love once a week.

Ain't nothing wrong with rolling around with somebody on the rebound, you shouldn't look at it like it's such a bad thing to do. 

I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

AcdQueen89

  • Unwashed Villager
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2009, 07:36:11 PM »
i never said it was a bad thing. it's just that i've never been drunk and i know how i form attachments. before i jump into bed with someone i'd like to reevaluate what i want out of life/get myself out of the "could i marry this guy" mindset and know what i'm like drunk before i add naked people to that.
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Thanatos

  • Unwashed Apprentice
  • ****
  • Posts: 376
  • Derivative Archetype
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2009, 08:04:15 PM »
Well, that definitely makes sense. If the random rolling around isn't something you've done before, you definitely shouldn't start when you're upset about a break up.  I was just sayin', I don't feel guilty about the way I roll, but that's just 'cause I make the choices that are right for me; you gotta make the choices that are right for you, etc etc.

If you've never been drunk before, I definitely wouldn't advise trying it any time soon if you've got emotional stuff going on.  Booze makes people silly!  I mean, just look at me!
I fall and I leap and
I'm freaking out
Nowhere near my place and I
Know that they've seen me now

Night Owl

  • Unwashed Journeyman
  • ****
  • Posts: 569
  • Unwashed Film Critic
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2009, 07:11:55 AM »
Is their some part of the social contract that I'm not adhering to; or is it the other way around? Part of me hates this because I have this hardwired distrust of anyone who approaches me for anything in downtown Seattle, mainly because I HATE downtown Seattle for reasons that could fill a whole new discussion topic, but let's just leave it at this: Whenever a stranger starts talking to me, they are UP TO SOMETHING until proven otherwise, and usually they aren't proven otherwise. So my inclination when someone starts blathering is to say "Let's just fast-forward to the part where you ask me for change and I say no and get on with our lives.", but I'm not that evil. It's all internal.

There's something wrong with you.  Why do you live in or near Seattle if you hate it?  You ain't got no wife or kids or mortgage!  The world is your oyster!

Gotta say, I agree.

This is akin to continually working a job you hate. Etc etc.

Life is meant to be lived.

Loveshack

  • Unwashed Journeyman
  • ****
  • Posts: 644
  • "I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20..."
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #27 on: October 12, 2009, 08:39:51 AM »

There's something wrong with you.  Why do you live in or near Seattle if you hate it?  You ain't got no wife or kids or mortgage!  The world is your oyster!

Gotta say, I agree.

This is akin to continually working a job you hate. Etc etc.

Life is meant to be lived.

I live in Tacoma, with which I have very few problems. I work in Seattle because a company called me and offered me a well-paying job and I'd been unemployed for months. I would prefer to not commute there every day but it pays well. As for why I don't care for the city; it's too big, and since I work downtown, I am confronted by the dregs of society (bums, whores and bangers) every time I walk from the bus stop to my office. And also, even for someone who considers himself slightly on the "blue" side of the political spectrum, this city is way too liberal and has way too many weirdos, many of whom aggressively wish to make my money their money.

BUT, that's beside the point, my beef is with chatty strangers. And since I know that my views often don't mesh with the popular attitudes in certain situations, I will often ask my friends if I'm the one violating the social contract or the other way around. In this case, it seems like no one really wants to make small talk with people who start it, but they do because they don't want to be rude. Would you say that's a fair assessment?

Man, if I have to ask other people about the social contract, maybe I do have some sort of antisocial personality disorder. I guess I just don't see the point in doing something I don't like, (i.e. pretending I want to chitchat with a complete stranger), when I have no stake in the situation, (I don't know the person, so what do I care if they're lonely.), and that it appears the rest of polite society goes along with even though they hate doing it just as much as I do.
"Nice try Horrigan!  Now... TASTE THE FURY OF VIC'S PIPE RIFLE!"

Sylvee Bee

  • Unwashed Journeyman
  • ****
  • Posts: 503
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2009, 10:46:15 PM »

I guess I just don't see the point in doing something I don't like, (i.e. pretending I want to chitchat with a complete stranger), when I have no stake in the situation, (I don't know the person, so what do I care if they're lonely.), and that it appears the rest of polite society goes along with even though they hate doing it just as much as I do.

there is so much wrong with this statement - I don't even know how to reply to it.  I am just glad that most of the people on this planet don't hold the same opinion as you, otherwise it would be a shitty place to live.  sometimes that fact that a fellow human being is just that...a fellow human being should be 'stake' enough for you to care. 

"there are not many people who can live up to the standard set by goldfish."
~KGF

Loveshack

  • Unwashed Journeyman
  • ****
  • Posts: 644
  • "I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20..."
    • View Profile
Re: What Is The Deal With Strangers Making Small Talk?
« Reply #29 on: October 15, 2009, 07:21:10 AM »
there is so much wrong with this statement - I don't even know how to reply to it.  I am just glad that most of the people on this planet don't hold the same opinion as you, otherwise it would be a shitty place to live.  sometimes that fact that a fellow human being is just that...a fellow human being should be 'stake' enough for you to care.

What's worse? Doing something you hate for people you don't know and pretending that you don't hate it? Or being honest about it? I say, since it's a stranger I have no stake in, better to put myself first, and if I truly don't want to chat, (and I believe that most people would prefer to be left alone as well, but I'm basing this hypothesis on the fact that most of the people who hit me up for small talk have mental issues.), best to be honest about it.

Can you honestly say you enjoy it when strangers bug you; or do you just tolerate it for the sake of appearances? Do you initiate small talk with strangers on a regular basis? Are you glad to have someone bother you when you're trying to listen to music or read or just shut out the world?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing, I'm actually a little bit jealous of your ability to relate with strangers in such a positive manner. For me it's a chore, and it really shouldn't be I guess. But of course, knowing that it shouldn't be, and pretending that it isn't chore doesn't make it cease to be a chore to me.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2009, 07:35:41 AM by Loveshack »
"Nice try Horrigan!  Now... TASTE THE FURY OF VIC'S PIPE RIFLE!"