That's how I feel right now, I thought the other day of working on a book over the summer and I always wanted her to read it, since she used to read a lot. I remembered that she wasn't there to read it anymore and it was like hearing it all over again.
I haven't broken down yet, haven't had a proper reaction to it. I'm just really confused, the last time I saw her she turned away and I told her I'd 'see her,' didn't know that I was talking about her funeral. I'm kind of relieved that the funeral will be on Wednesday, I'd like to put this whole thing to rest and move on with my life. Right now it's not doing my family much good, least of all my Dad, who just lost his mum and is growing increasingly infuriated with my Uncle for not doing enough to help.
Sorry about your Mother Turjan, I honestly can't expect that anyone would be ready for that. Especially if it's at short notice.